The Go-Giver Influencer- by Bob Burg and John David Mann

1. Master Your Emotions

Breathe. Set your feelings to the side. You can still have your feelings; you don’t even need to change them. Just set them aside for the moment. Don’t let them drive the car. Put reasoned judgment in the driver’s seat. Feelings in the passenger seat.

Retrain yourself to respond to conflict and disagreement by ruffling your feelings. Make calm your default setting.

2. Step Into The Other Person’s Shoes

Listen. Get out of your own head and step into the other person’s perspective. See the world through their lenses. Appreciate where they’re coming from and what’s at stake for them. Listen with the back of your neck.

3. Set The Frame

Smile. Take the initiative to establish the tone and context of the interaction. Whoever sets the frame of the conversation also sets the direction and tone in which it will go.

4. Communicate With Tact And Empathy

Be gracious. Let yourself free what the other person is feeling, and speak to that truthfully, yet also with compassion.

5. Let Go Of Having To Be Right

Trust. As long as your premise is that your position is the right one, and the other person’s is the wrong one, you have no chance of arriving at a genuinely satisfying solution. Sometimes you have to let go, and eat the pancakes.

And, surprise! You may find you have what you let go of.

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