Redefine Impossible

I am currently reading a book called iron Cowboy-Redefine Impossible by James Lawrence who is probably the best athlete of our time in the world.

It’s funny I was at the doctor’s office the other day and they were talking about you can’t just run a marathon without training it. Well, technically that’s not true. You can do it. It would just really be tough. I was laughing because I always do that. I ran two half marathons not having trained at all. Not something that I would recommend but more of a challenge to push my mental limits in how much pain I can endure. I am strange that I love to do this and see the value in doing this quite often.

I sometimes will go to Crossfit 6 days in a role just to push myself and see if I can do it. I would not recommend doing it though.

After reading this book I want to commit to running a marathon doing another century. I was so sad that I hurt before the Philadelphia Marathon after my friend gave her bib because she couldn’t do it. I really felt like I let her down. Sorry, Claire! If you ever read this.

James Lawrence wrote a book called Iron Cowboy (his nickname) for doing 50 Ironman triathlons in 50 states in 50 days. This is probably the most impressive thing accomplished in the history of the world at least in my opinion. I might be biased because I am really into Crossfit and endurance races. I was reflecting and thinking to myself. One of my greatest abilities is actually my endurance. I noticed during workouts and my speed is decent but definitely not compared to everyone else. I think I am improving my endurance more by doing some of this things.

I will share some parts of the book that really resonated with me.

He said that the hardest part was really just getting up and just doing it.

His motto is really just one more. He just thinks about one more especially with all of the blisters, injuries, and ailments that doctors have warned him he would be without a leg or any feeling in his body.

In the beginning of the story, he talks about a competition where you would have to sit in a Ferris wheel for 10 days. He was the winner of that challenge early on in his life.

I thought was interesting to see that he always had a knack for being able to endure whatever it takes. I feel the same way sometimes. When I was doing a century (100 Mile bike race). I virtually did not train the furthest I biked before that was like 14 miles or something like that. Riding my bike to work in Somerset, NJ from New Brunswick near cook college. I saw that so many people were using painkillers and I luckily did not have to even use Tylenol. Don’t get me wrong I was certainly sore afterward and my thighs swole up.  It doubled in sized. All of that lactic acid was building up and the recovery was pretty painful. However, it was one of the most amazing memories ever. I definitely feel a sense of purpose when I am doing really fun challenges such as hike for 14 hours straight when we hiked in the Adirondacks in the mountains. That was definitely one of the hardest things I ever have done in my life. One of my strengths is my positivity during it. It’s funny to notice how I cringe when people complain.

One of the most valuable things I have learned from coaching is to notice how certain things trigger me for instance when people complain. I die a little bit inside. If I was to guess I think it was because I am always reflecting about how fortunate we in the US to have all of these opportunities but everything is relative right? Why am I being negative about people being negative? It’s not helping me out or anything else out by doing that.

Anyways, his purpose is so much bigger than himself. He talks about how his children are what keeps him alive and during the toughest and darkest days.

Whenever he sees any of his 5 children and his wife he gets a sudden boost of energy. (I felt the same way during the Spartan race at the end when I saw my girlfriend,  my heart literally skipped a beat.) (That’s how I know she is the one!)

The way they work together and the teamwork he has is incredible. He always talks about how we couldn’t have done it alone, which is funny considering technically an Ironman is all about personal growth and pushing your discomfort limits by yourself. I do notice the interactions I have with random people and the unity you feel with you do something really uncomfortable with a group of people the bonding that comes with me.

The people I meet internationally during these races I instantly feel a sense of connection. I guess being a part of a tribe of some sort. It’s hard to explain but those of you who do Crossfit or people that would consider us crazy for doing the Spartan Races and similar types of events

So he talks about childhood obesity and how a lot of the classmates of his 5 children are really obese. They are all extremely young. I can certainly relate to that as well being a Nutrition major growing up in my undergraduate. It really resonated with me when I started to learn what I am putting into my body determines my mental health and determines so much of what I am capable of.

Growing up eating really unhealthy just not having the knowledge coming from a much less educated family. I don’t blame them at all but I can certainly relate. They were literally just trying to make ends meat and provide for the family.

I love Jame’s stories because he always brings it back to a higher purpose and talks about all of the lives he touched. People that have lost 150 to 320 lbs. They have been inspired by his mission whenever he had supporters he got a boost of energy knowing that this is something more than just a challenge for him. It’s not the world record he was chasing it was actually to raise money and to be a part of something greater than himself. The charity is working with is the Jamie Oliver Food Foundation.

Reading this definitely made me reflect on giving back to the society is the times where I feel the most fulfilled is when I am giving back to the world as well.

How blogging has helped me find myself.

December 30th, 2016 I started blogging and 3045 views later I am so happy that started something that I am not very good at. I always like to challenge myself to do new and exciting things. English and writing was something I never thought I would be good at. In high school, middle school going to school in relatively competitive Cherry Hill school district being apart of the IB program. I always compared myself to others and relatively speaking I did not excel in school. It all started when I went to private school during the elementary school days from 2nd to 4th grade. I was actually held back. It was a pretty intense program and my reading comprehension was not as high as the other students. It was an all Chinese school too. My confidence was not very high growing up because of this. I have made significant progress writing about my self-development journey and sharing it with the world.

Thank you so much for the support and all of the people that have read it and told me they got something from it.

I am so blessed to have such a strong support system considering I felt like I did not belong. As many of you know I moved around a lot from New Jersey to California back to California and now NYC. I realized that most of my life was spent comparing myself to others. Why are other people so successful and get to go on vacations, etc.

Over the last couple of years, I started to see the opportunities that you can create from within. Instead of coming from a scarcity mindset. I see the opportunity in connecting with anyone anywhere. The internet is such a powerful platform where I can connect with people from Seattle, Singapore, and all another world through something like blogging and Reddit.

I have been able to meet people whom I respect and appreciate so much.

Both my podcasts and blogging been able to reach thousands of people as well. I do get a little bit emotional whenever someone reaches out to me to tell me how I am doing a great job with both my blog and podcast. The power of something greater than yourself and giving back to the world gives me so much energy every day.

It’s crazy how every moment and every single interaction lead me to this moment. From all of the dark times to the wonderful memories I have created with many of you. I am so happy that I get to be able to have a platform and to live in a country where I can have the opportunity to reach such a wide audience.

I am in the process of writing a book about 1000 things to be grateful. I have found that when I publicly announce my goals. I have a much higher chance of completing them. The power of support can be tremendously useful if you just put it out there for the world to see.

It’s interesting to see how one’s identity changes so much over the years but at the essence of it all, we are all the time. The hardships, the battles, the tears, and joy. It’s been a magical ride with you!

I know with social media there is a lot of noise out there but thank you for helping me develop who I am by offering feedback whether I liked it or not. It still shaped who I am today.

These are the top 10 things I learned about myself from blogging.

  1. Even if you think you will never be good at something, maybe that is something that you should try. At the end of it, it will be so worth it.

2. Consistency and maintaining a routine until it becomes a habit is something that this really pushed me to do.

3. Taking more chances will lead to failure but will also lead you to so much more than what you have right now.

4. The power of social, I cannot understate how emotional human beings are and how the power of a movement can really change the world.

5. Any idea can be a reality if executed upon.

6. Being a lifelong learner, after picking the brains of high performers, they have a childlike fascination with everything. Never lose your curiosity.

7. Challenge yourself every day and have goals. The people that do not have goals are the least happen because most people do respect and love challenges. The bigger the challenge, the more rewarding the end result should be.

8. Respect the journey and appreciate the process. I have learned that it really isn’t about the end result. It’s about the every day because if you are counting down the days until the weekend. Maybe that’s not a good sign. Maybe you need something more fulfilling or more challenging.

9. Coachability. That’s something that anyone can work on always. You will never be an expert. The moment you think you are an expert. That is the moment you should watch out for.

10. Surround yourself with greatness. Reading the news and certain things can really hinder your growth. Read more inspiring news about how people are creating a cure for cancer or just accomplishing truly amazing things. That is going to be more fuel for your brain, than watching sitcoms all day.

I hope this is helpful for you all. The TLDR version is you just never know until you start. I just started blogging less than a year ago and I am so happy that I did. Vulnerability can be scary but it is something that builds a leader. I have found that through my shares, people have gotten something out of it and most importantly I have gotten a ton out of it.

Emotional Intelligence

What a buzz word. Anyone who is on Linkedin more than 5 minutes sees the word being thrown around everywhere.

What does it mean to me?

I think that emotional intelligence personally means you are able to relate to anyone and be able to get along with and connect with anyone.

I would say most of my life. I have been battling and thinking about how I can improve my emotional intelligence. It’s been an interesting journey from calling up random sales top performers and picking their brains.

One of the things I have noticed with people that are amazing networkers is that they truly care.

The best networkers in the world not only add value. That is a given but they make you feel like they genuinely care about you. Not the people that run around collecting and handing out business cards like its a game and race to see whoever collects the most business cards wins in this networking game.

I learned the hard way. Early on in my career after attending 1000 networking events. I used to be so excited to connect with as many people as possible. Only the last year and a half or so I finally realize why am I rushing instead of trying just being present and enjoying the moment. Now how I look at networking events is a real opportunity to even just to connect with one person on an extremely deep level. To leave an everlasting impression.

How do I do this you ask? Just by asking deep questions and eliminate some of the small talk. Yes, depending on the person and how it feels. I would warm up first by talking about common interests. As the conversation involves you can really see a person’s greatness by asking them questions such as what is your life’s purpose? What are You passionate about? People tend to light up when you truly take the time to really get to know someone by asking people questions that people are normally too scared to ask.

Am I claiming I am an emotional intelligence expert? Certainly not, I am still only 30 years old but I have interacted with enough people in the world to realize and see common trends and themes.Studying Tim Ferriss, James Altucher, Lewis Howe’s and all of the guests they bring on.

I do notice that the top guys and gals in the industry always make you feel like a million bucks and being authentical too. One of the things I have been proud of is to be able to give genuine sincere compliments. This is due to an extra layer of listening so even if I just spent 5 minutes speaking to someone. I can refer back to something unique they said that was memorable during a follow-up email. That truly shows that you care and that their relationships mean something to you.

Well, I sincerely appreciate you guys taking the time to read my takeaway of the day. I am in the process of creating an email list to talk about little tips and advice relating to emotional intelligence on a weekly basis so stay tuned.

Do you love yourself?

This is going to take a certain level of vulnerability but I have been challenging myself to be even more authentic because that is what leaders do.

This is a question that has caused me to lose a great deal of sleep over the past few months and maybe even years but who is counting? 😛

Lately, I have been feeling the imposter syndrome. So many people have been reaching out to me for advice trying to pick my brain so they can figure out their purpose and talk about the meaning of life.

I always post on social media all of the fun adventures I have when I am traveling, whether for work or for pleasure. For example when I went to Vegas for our company conference or just having fun in Chicago with my lover and our friends.

It’s funny, how I was not able to see all of the love I have received growing up. There was so much hatred growing up in my eyes. I didn’t realize it until the last year or so. The love was there all along. I am so blessed to have the support of so many but I chose to ignore it. I was only able to see the bad in people.

I never wanted to have kids because I thought to myself who know want to live in this dark cruel world? The happiness was taken away from me at one point during my childhood. I am really not sure who stole it… But I truly think I stole it from myself. All of the circumstances, my parent’s divorce, we moved around like crazy. I lived in 20 different houses, most likely more. All of these stories I told myself was not serving me and my relationships.

I was always seeking something externally to prove my worth. Whether it’s getting others to like me by going to networking events and always helping everyone else around me. Connecting people to other people. It gave me tremendous satisfaction knowing that I can be a “mover and shaker” in this game we call life.

I started reaching out to prominent people like the podcast hosts I was listening to and studying guests and analyzing top performers on podcasts such as the Art of Charm, We study billionaires: the investor’s podcast, Lewis Howes-the school of Greatness, and many other self-development topics out there. Every time someone got back to me, such as Tony Hsieh: the CEO of Zappos and many prominent figures. My worth was tied to these external factors. I had a huge breakthrough recently with the help of Accomplishment Coaching and the great work that we do that for me it has to come from within.

Everything, I did was always to receive external approval. I have recently only had a breakthrough in self-worth and man the power that comes from it has been tremendously valuable to me. Instead of reaching out to people asking if they want to learn more about life coaching. I started getting people coming to me because of this shift. Wow, what does this mean Davidson? Does it mean, I am slowly started to see my greatness? It’s crazy because people usually think I am very confident but in reality. I am typically scared or afraid, Can I provide value? I am worthy of being someone’s life coach?

How am I being of service to the world? Is what I am doing valuable to the world? Self-actualization is a journey that starts from within. Lately, I have been on a mediation craze and only then I started realizing wow, I am capable of so much reach and have a tremendous amount of power. The ability to truly shape even just one’s person life for the better has been incredible rewarding. Partner, optimism, brilliance, heart, and compassion are my essence. Being my essence lately has truly allowed me to dig deeper into who I am being and choosing differently.

I am on this journey with 23 other amazing coaches in the world and I have a coach for anyone people going through divorce, anyone looking to improve their confidence or would like to have a breakthrough with self worth. Please, join us in the journey of self discovery. I promise you it will be a fun, sometimes tough but rewarding one.

What’s your relationship to fear and failure?

This is obviously a pretty big topic for most.

I will tell you a story about mine.

I used to be so afraid of public speaking after doing it 10-20+ times it became much easier.

I used to think that I was never going to be creative enough to write. Now I try to write content on a daily basis.

I used to think that I will never be strong because “my body type just isn’t that way.”

Now I go to Crossfit every day and just hit my one year anniversary with Crossfit! Shout to Solace on 32nd and Park! (I love you too Crossfit Beast River and Crossfit NYC)  I love the support I get there.

I had a manager that told me I should not be in sales. Now, I surround myself with the greatest and have my own sales podcast and just finished my 8th episode. I have ttakenthe initiative to build my own sales ecosystem by reaching to the folks on the sales podcast I learn to regularly and started a monthly sales meetup group). In addition to create a community on Linkedin full of sales professional that is close to 600 members where we exchange ideas and talk about best practices in sales).

I used to think I lack emotional intelligence, now I go to networking events almost on a daily basis. I have learned the skill of connecting, trust, and just being yourself. I do think most people overthink networking events. The less of an agenda you have, you just need to focus on being yourself and being able to add value, the rest will happen organically.

The point is just because you are a certain way does not mean you do not have the ability to change it. You can be whoever you want to be anyone that tells you otherwise has their own insecurities.

I truly did not believe this until recently. Anyone that knows me, people usually say I am the most extroverted person they have ever met in the world. It’s funny because I love being alone and being able just to read an awesome book, thought provoking book. I have finally learned to love myself. It was not an easy journey quite the opposite. I will write a whole blog post on that tomorrow

My relationship to failure is still getting better everyday. Doing small things like this where I put myself out there has helped me realize that anything is possible. I will never imagine that I would get over 3000 page views after blogging for short amount of time.

Fear is always going to be there. As the great Tim Ferriss says fear is never going to go away.  Even stunt men have fear, its just knowing how to deal with it or acting/doing in spite of fear.

You think I am not afraid of putting myself out there so the world can learn about my insecurities, flaws, and mistakes? No, it’s incredibly scary and I do care about what other people think. I have even cried before because of people’s comments. It doesn’t mean, I shouldn’t put myself out there but there are people in the world with insecurities who like to project how they feel. Because of a number of reasons. It doesn’t mean anything about you.

So I ask you all. What is your relationship to fear? Have you thought about it? What’s your relationship to failure? How do you react to failure? Is failure bad to you? We live in a world and our parents/ families try to protect you from failure.

It is within failure where we learn the most about ourselves. Putting yourself into constant failure everyday helps mold you and learning from your failures is what separates the high performers from everyone else.

 

What I have learned from listening to over 1000 Podcast episodes so far.

Once again, thanks for taking the time out of your busy day to read this blog/reflection piece.

It’s interesting because I really think I am addicted to listening to podcasts. I just find it so amazing that we have access to literally anything we want at our fingertips. I would say the main takeaways if I was to boil it down to 10 simple concepts are as follows:

  1. The top performers or people that have made something viral are that they have a different relation to failure or fear then we do. Most people act upon their feelings and what they feel like doing at any particular moment. I have noticed that with Maria Sharapova and Apolo Ohno for example, it’s not that they don’t have any fear but instead of acting upon their fears they have a really large and huge commitment and will honor it no matter what they are feeling at any particular moment.
  2. The high achievers have a strong vision and really large goals. Goal setting is a skill that is often underrated. Goals and creating practices around your goals (don’t forget to set milestones) will help you be much more focused and will help you find your purpose.
  3. They often do not do it alone. People that help each other out realize the power of partnerships and they often surround themselves with complimentary skill sets and hire others based on what they are lacking the most. I definitely think that is why I am so attracted to my girlfriend we are complete opposites in many ways and some of my shortcomings she definitely knows how to support me in and vice versa.
  4.  Your worldview is so different and unique that you can contribute just as much as anyone else can. People’s companies, Google, Facebook, Apple all started off as an idea. Every single experience, book, opera, ballet, or concert you have gone to all started off with an idea. Mediation is a common practice I have found amongst really creative people. I have actually found that only meditating for less than a year I actually started blogging and realized that I do have the power to be creative. I at one point thought that I was the less creative person in the world. (Ask my Sister Jenny). She would tell you this is true.
  5. Listening to something you normally wouldn’t listen to has given me so much back in return. I used to not care about financial podcasts but lately, I have found them to be extremely helpful, practical and really just fascinating. As a result, I am able to change my relationship to money and how I choose to relate to money will obviously play a huge role in my life.
  6. We are all the same, I used to think about how different the world is whether its people internationally, etc. But the more I dive into learning about psychology and after attending 1000+ networking events. I realized that we are all exactly the same.
  7. Your health is so much more important than you realize. People typically worry about it until it becomes a problem. I am sure you all have days where you just feel like crap. Since I started taking more care of my health. I have noticed that I have so much more energy and much more love to share.
  8. Surrounding yourself with people you normally do not spend time with is super crucial in being able to learn more about yourself and the world. Lately, I have been surrounding myself with some of the most innovative people in the world (shout out to Ivy) and my worldviews have shifted significantly.
  9. The power and potential of media and how it affects us all. I used to think social media was primarily used for bad reasons but there is so much good in media, whether it’s raising money for non-profit or to solve world hunger. There is so much power in media that it’s a pretty incredible world we live in.
  10. Lately, just go out there and have fun! People are often so hard on themselves always comparing themselves and others. The moment you let go of comparing yourself. The possibilities are endless.

Let me know what your thoughts are on this. I love getting feedback from you guys.