This is going to take a certain level of vulnerability but I have been challenging myself to be even more authentic because that is what leaders do.
This is a question that has caused me to lose a great deal of sleep over the past few months and maybe even years but who is counting? 😛
Lately, I have been feeling the imposter syndrome. So many people have been reaching out to me for advice trying to pick my brain so they can figure out their purpose and talk about the meaning of life.
I always post on social media all of the fun adventures I have when I am traveling, whether for work or for pleasure. For example when I went to Vegas for our company conference or just having fun in Chicago with my lover and our friends.
It’s funny, how I was not able to see all of the love I have received growing up. There was so much hatred growing up in my eyes. I didn’t realize it until the last year or so. The love was there all along. I am so blessed to have the support of so many but I chose to ignore it. I was only able to see the bad in people.
I never wanted to have kids because I thought to myself who know want to live in this dark cruel world? The happiness was taken away from me at one point during my childhood. I am really not sure who stole it… But I truly think I stole it from myself. All of the circumstances, my parent’s divorce, we moved around like crazy. I lived in 20 different houses, most likely more. All of these stories I told myself was not serving me and my relationships.
I was always seeking something externally to prove my worth. Whether it’s getting others to like me by going to networking events and always helping everyone else around me. Connecting people to other people. It gave me tremendous satisfaction knowing that I can be a “mover and shaker” in this game we call life.
I started reaching out to prominent people like the podcast hosts I was listening to and studying guests and analyzing top performers on podcasts such as the Art of Charm, We study billionaires: the investor’s podcast, Lewis Howes-the school of Greatness, and many other self-development topics out there. Every time someone got back to me, such as Tony Hsieh: the CEO of Zappos and many prominent figures. My worth was tied to these external factors. I had a huge breakthrough recently with the help of Accomplishment Coaching and the great work that we do that for me it has to come from within.
Everything, I did was always to receive external approval. I have recently only had a breakthrough in self-worth and man the power that comes from it has been tremendously valuable to me. Instead of reaching out to people asking if they want to learn more about life coaching. I started getting people coming to me because of this shift. Wow, what does this mean Davidson? Does it mean, I am slowly started to see my greatness? It’s crazy because people usually think I am very confident but in reality. I am typically scared or afraid, Can I provide value? I am worthy of being someone’s life coach?
How am I being of service to the world? Is what I am doing valuable to the world? Self-actualization is a journey that starts from within. Lately, I have been on a mediation craze and only then I started realizing wow, I am capable of so much reach and have a tremendous amount of power. The ability to truly shape even just one’s person life for the better has been incredible rewarding. Partner, optimism, brilliance, heart, and compassion are my essence. Being my essence lately has truly allowed me to dig deeper into who I am being and choosing differently.
I am on this journey with 23 other amazing coaches in the world and I have a coach for anyone people going through divorce, anyone looking to improve their confidence or would like to have a breakthrough with self worth. Please, join us in the journey of self discovery. I promise you it will be a fun, sometimes tough but rewarding one.