How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie
HOW TO STOP WORRYING AND START LIVING: (BEST MOTIVATIONAL BOOKS FOR PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT (DESIGN YOUR LIFE) (REVISED)by DALE CARNEGIE, Team Prabhat Prakashan
These were the passages that resonated the most with me. Which one of these quotes stood out to you?
Has anyone else read this book?
“Science,” said the French philosopher Valery, “is a collection of successful recipes.” That is what this book is, a collection of successful and time-tested recipes to rid our lives of worry. However, let me warn you: you won’t find anything new in it, but you will
“Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand.” Forty-two years later, on a soft spring night when the tulips were blooming on the campus, this man, Sir William Osier, addressed the students of Yale University. He told those Yale students that a man like himself who had been a professor in four universities and had written a popular book was supposed to have “brains of a special quality” .He declared that that was untrue. He said that his intimate friends knew that his brains were “of the most mediocre character”. What, then, was the secret of his success? He stated that it was owing to what he called living in “day-tight compartments.” What did he mean by that? A few months before he spoke at Yale, Sir William Osier had crossed the Atlantic on a great ocean liner where the captain standing on the bridge, could press a button and-presto!-there was a clanging of machinery and various parts of the ship were immediately shut off from one another-shut off into watertight compartments. “Now each one of you,”
“I found the same problems arising in business that had arisen during the war: a score of things had to be done at once-and there was little time to do them. We were low in stocks. We had new forms to handle, new stock arrangements, changes of address, opening and closing offices, and so on. Instead of getting taut and nervous, I remembered what the doctor had told me. ‘One grain of sand at a time. One task at a time.’ By repeating those words to myself over and over, I accomplished my tasks in a more efficient manner and I did my work without the confused and jumbled feeling that had almost wrecked me on the battlefield.”
“One of the most appalling comments on our present way of life is that half of all the beds in our hospitals are reserved for patients with nervous and mental troubles, patients who have collapsed under the crushing burden of accumulated yesterdays and fearful tomorrows.
“How strange it is, our little procession of life I” wrote Stephen Leacock. “The child says: ‘When I am a big boy.’ But what is that? The big boy says: ‘When I grow up.’ And then, grown up, he says: ‘When I get married.’ But to be married, what is that after all? The thought changes to ‘When I’m able to retire.” And then, when retirement comes, he looks back over the landscape traversed; a cold wind seems to sweep over it; somehow he has missed it all, and it is gone. Life, we learn too late, is in the living, in the tissue of every day and hour.”
“Do I tend to put off living in the present in order to worry about the future, or to yearn for some “magical rose garden over the horizon”? 2. Do I sometimes embitter the present by regretting things that happened in the past that are over and done with? 3. Do I get up in the morning determined to “Seize the day”-to get the utmost out of these twenty-four hours? 4. Can I get more out of life by “living in day-tight compartments”? 5. When shall I start to do this? Next week? .. Tomorrow? … Today?”
“Step I. I analysed the situation fearlessly and honestly and figured out what was the worst that could possibly happen as a result of this failure. No one was going to jail me or shoot me. That was certain. True, there was a chance that I would lose my position; and there was also a chance that my employers would have to remove the machinery and lose the twenty thousand dollars we had invested. “Step II. After figuring out what was the worst that could possibly happen, I reconciled myself to accepting it, if necessary. I said to myself: This failure will be a blow to my record, and it might possibly mean the loss of my job; but if it does, I can always get another position. Conditions could be much worse; and as far as my employers are concerned- well, they realize that we are experimenting with a new method of cleaning gas, and if this experience costs them twenty thousand dollars, they can stand it. They can charge it up to research, for it is an experiment. “After discovering the worst that could possibly happen and reconciling myself to accepting it, if necessary, an extremely important thing happened: I immediately relaxed and felt a sense of peace that I hadn’t experienced in days. “Step III. From that time on, I calmly devoted my time and energy to trying to improve upon the worst which I had already accepted mentally. “I now tried to figure out ways and means by which I might reduce the loss of twenty thousand dollars that we faced. I made several tests and finally figured out that if we spent another five thousand for additional equipment, our problem would be solved. We did this, and instead of the firm losing twenty thousand, we made fifteen thousand. “I probably would never have been able to do this if I had kept on worrying, because one of the worst features about worrying is that it destroys our ability to concentrate. When we worry, our minds jump here and there and everywhere, and we lose all power of decision. However, when we force ourselves to face the worst and accept it mentally, we then eliminate all those vague imaginings and put ourselves in a position in which we are able to concentrate on our problem.
“Then he made a decision: a rare and superb decision. “Since I have only a little while to live,” he said, “I may as well make the most of it. I have always wanted to travel around the world before I die. If I am ever going to do it, I’ll have to do it now.” So he bought his ticket. The doctors were appalled. “We must warn you,” they said to Mr. Haney, “that if you do take this trip, you will be buried at sea.” “No, I won’t,” he replied. “I have promised my relatives that I will be buried in the family plot at Broken Bow, Nebraska. So I am going to buy a casket and take it with me.” He purchased a casket, put it aboard ship, and then made arrangements with the steamship company-in the event of his death-to put his corpse in a freezing compartment and keep it there till the liner returned home. He set out on his trip, imbued with the spirit of old Omar: Ah, make the most of what we yet may spend, Before we too into the Dust descend; Dust into Dust, and under Dust, to lie,
I reconciled myself to the worst that could happen-in my case, dying. And then I improved upon it by trying to get the utmost enjoyment out of life for the time I had left. … If,” he continued, “if I had gone on worrying after boarding that ship, I have no doubt that I would have made the return voyage inside of that coffin.
- Ask yourself,’ ‘What is the worst that can possibly happen?” 2. Prepare to accept it if you have to. 3. Then calmly proceed to improve on the worst.
“I recently had some correspondence with Dr. Harold C. Habein of the Mayo Clinic. He read a paper at the annual meeting of the American Association of Industrial Physicians and Surgeons, saying that he had made a study of 176 business executives whose average age was 44.3 years. He reported that slightly more than a third of these executives suffered from one of three ailments peculiar to high-tension living-heart disease, digestive tract ulcers, and high blood pressure. Think of it- a third of our business executives are wrecking their bodies with heart disease, ulcers, and high blood pressure before they even reach forty-five. What price success! And they aren’t even buying success! Can any man possibly be a success who is paying for business advancement with stomach ulcers and heart trouble? What shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world-and loses his health?”
“What causes insanity? No one knows all the answers. But it is highly probable that in many cases fear and worry are contributing factors. The anxious and harassed individual who is unable to cope with the harsh world of reality breaks off all contact with his environment and retreats into a private dream world of his own making, and this solves his worry problems.”
“Worry can put you into a wheel chair with rheumatism and arthritis. Dr. Russell L. Cecil, of the Cornell University Medical School, is a world-recognized authority on arthritis; and he has listed four of the commonest conditions that bring on arthritis: 1. Marital shipwreck. 2. Financial disaster and grief. 3. Loneliness and worry. 4. Long-cherished resentments.”
“Worry can even cause tooth decay. Dr. William I.L. McGonigle said in an address before the American Dental Association that “unpleasant emotions such as those caused by worry, fear, nagging … may upset the body’s calcium balance and cause tooth decay” .Dr. McGonigle told of a patient of his who had always had a perfect set of teeth until he began to worry over his wife’s sudden illness. During the three weeks she was in the hospital, he developed nine cavities- cavities brought on by worry.”
“The Negroes down south and the Chinese rarely have the kind of heart disease brought on by worry, because they take things calmly. Twenty times as many doctors as farm workers die from heart failure. The doctors lead tense lives-and pay the penalty.”
“Worry is like the constant drip, drip, drip of water; and the constant drip, drip, drip of worry often drives men to insanity and suicide.”
“I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavour. … If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”
The three steps are: 1. Get the facts. 2. Analyse the facts. 3. Arrive at a decision-and then act on that decision.
“So I banish about ninety per cent of my worries by taking these four steps: “1. Writing down precisely what I am worrying about. “2. Writing down what I can do about it. “3. Deciding what to do. “4. Starting immediately to carry out that decision.”
“Question 1: What is the problem? (“In the old days we used to spend an hour or two in a worried conference without anyone’s knowing specifically and concretely what the real problem was. We used to work ourselves into a lather discussing our troubles without ever troubling to write out specifically what our problem was.) “Question 2: What is the cause of the problem? (“As I look back over my career, I am appalled at the wasted hours I have spent in worried conferences without ever trying to find out clearly the conditions which lay at the root of the problem.) “Question 3: What are all possible solutions of the problem? (“In the old days, one man in the conference would suggest one solution. Someone else would argue with him. Tempers would flare.
“We would often get clear off the subject, and at the end of the conference no one would have written down all the various things we could do to attack the problem.) “Question 4: What solution do you suggest? (“I used to go into a conference with a man who had spent hours worrying about a situation and going around in circles without ever once thinking through all possible solutions and then writing down: ‘this is the solution I recommend.’)
“I made an astounding discovery! Right there in black and white, I discovered that seventy per cent of my sales had been closed on the very first interview! Twenty-three per cent of my sales had been closed on the second interview! And only seven per cent of my sales had been closed on those third, fourth, fifth, etc., interviews, which were running me ragged and taking up my time. In other words, I was wasting fully one half of my working day on a part of my business which was responsible for only seven per cent of my sales!”
“Part Two In A Nutshell RULE 1: Get the facts. Remember that Dean Hawkes of Columbia University said that ” half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision.” RULE 2: After carefully weighing all the facts, come to a decision. RULE 3: Once a decision is carefully reached, act! Get busy carrying out your decision- and dismiss all anxiety about the outcome. RULE 4: When you, or any of your associates are tempted to worry about a problem, write out and answer the following questions: a. What is the problem? b. What is the cause of the problem? c. What are all possible solutions? d. What is the best solution?
“Picture to yourself how their mastery will aid you in living a richer, happier life. Say to yourself over and over: “My peace of mind, my happiness, my health, and perhaps even my income will, in the long run, depend largely on applying the old, obvious, and eternal truths taught in this book.”
- Bernard Shaw once remarked: “If you teach a man anything, he will never learn.” Shaw was right. Learning is an active process. We learn by doing. So, if you desire to master the principles you are studying in this book, do something about them. Apply these rules at every opportunity. If you don’t you will forget them quickly. Only knowledge that is used sticks in your mind.
- Keep a diary-a diary in which you ought to record your triumphs in the application of these principles. Be specific. Give names, dates, results. Keeping such a record will inspire you to greater efforts; and how fascinating these entries will be when you chance upon them some evening, years from now!
“The following night, I went from room to room in the house, compiling a list of jobs that ought to be done. Scores of items needed to be repaired: bookcases, stair steps, storm windows, window-shades, knobs, locks, leaky taps. Astonishing as it seems, in the course of two weeks I had made a list of 242 items that needed attention.”
“No time for worry! That is exactly what Winston Churchill said when he was working eighteen hours a day at the height of the war. When he was asked if he worried about his tremendous responsibilities, he said: “I’m too busy. I have no time for worry.”
“The great scientist, Pasteur, spoke of “the peace that is found in libraries and laboratories.” Why is peace found there? Because the men in libraries and laboratories are usually too absorbed in their tasks to worry about themselves. Research men rarely have nervous breakdowns. They haven’t time for such luxuries.”
“Mrs. Carnegie and I had dinner at a friend’s house in Chicago. While carving the meat, he did something wrong. I didn’t notice it; and I wouldn’t have cared even if I had noticed it But his wife saw it and jumped down his throat right in front of us. “John,” she cried, “watch what you are doing! Can’t you ever learn to serve properly!” Then she said to us: “He is always making mistakes. He just doesn’t try.” Maybe he didn’t try to carve; but I certainly give him credit for trying to live with her for twenty years. Frankly, I would rather have eaten a couple of hot dogs with mustard-in an atmosphere of peace-than to have dined on Peking duck and shark fins while listening to her scolding.”
“Then,” says Homer Croy, “I went with some friends on a camping expedition. While listening to the limbs crackling in the roaring fire, I thought how much they sounded like the crackling of the radiators. Why should I like one and hate the other? When I went home I said to myself: ‘the crackling of the limbs in the fire was a pleasant sound; the sound of the radiators is about the same-I’ll go to sleep and not worry about the noise.’ And I did. For a few days I was conscious of the radiators; but soon I forgot all about them. “And so it is with many petty worries. We dislike them and get into a stew, all because we exaggerate their importance. …”
“On the slope of Long’s Peak in Colorado lies the ruin of 3 gigantic tree. Naturalists tell us that it stood for some four hundred years. It was a seedling when Columbus landed at San Salvador, and half-grown when the Pilgrims settled at Plymouth. During the course of its long life it was struck by lightning fourteen times, and the innumerable avalanches and storms of four centuries thundered past it. It survived them all. In the end, however, an army of beetles attacked the tree and leveled it to the ground. The insects ate their way through the bark and gradually destroyed the inner strength of the tree by their tiny but incessant attacks. A forest giant which age had not withered, nor lightning blasted, nor storms subdued, fell at last before beetles so small that a man could crush them between his forefinger and his thumb.”
“Aren’t we all like that battling giant of the forest? Don’t we manage somehow to survive the rare storms and avalanches and lightning blasts of We, only to let our hearts be eaten out by little beetles of worry-little beetles that could be crushed between a finger and a thumb?”
“As the years went by, I gradually discovered that ninety-nine per cent of the things I worried about never happened. For example, as I have already said, I was once terrified of lightning; but I now know that the chances of my being killed by lightning in any one year are, according to the National Safety Council, only one in three hundred and fifty thousand.”
“To be sure, I have been talking about the worries of youth and adolescence. But many of our adult worries are almost as absurd. You and I could probably eliminate nine-tenths of our worries right now if we would cease our fretting long enough to discover whether, by the law of averages, there was any real justification for our worries.” ‘By the law of averages, it won’t happen.’ That phrase has destroyed ninety per cent of my worries; and it has made the past twenty years of my life beautiful and peaceful beyond my highest expectations.”
‘Look here, Jim Grant, how many fruit cars have you handled over the years?’ The answer was: ‘About twenty five thousand.’ Then I asked myself: ‘How many of those cars were ever wrecked?’ The answer was: ‘Oh maybe five.’ Then I said to myself: ‘Only five-out of twenty-five thousand? Do you know what that means? A ratio of five thousand to one! In other words, by the law of averages, based on experience, the chances are five thousand to one against one of your cars ever being wrecked. So what are you worried about?’ “Then I said to myself: ‘Well, a bridge may collapse!’ Then I asked myself: ‘How many cars have you actually lost from a bridge collapsing?’ The answer was-‘None.’ Then I said to myself: ‘Aren’t you a fool to be worrying yourself into stomach ulcers over a bridge which has never yet collapsed, and over a railroad wreck when the chances are five thousand to one against it!'”
“Now I often go for a month at a time without even thinking about the fact that I have only three fingers and a thumb on my left hand. A few years ago, I met a man who was running a freight elevator in one of the downtown office buildings in New York. I noticed that his left hand had been cut off at the wrist. I asked him if the loss of that hand bothered him. He said: “Oh, no, I hardly ever think about it. I am not married, and the only time I ever think about it is when I try to thread a needle.” It is astonishing how quickly we can accept almost any situation-if we have to-and adjust ourselves to it and forget about it.”
“often think of an inscription on the ruins of a fifteenth-century cathedral in Amsterdam, Holland. This inscription says in Flemish: “It is so. It cannot be otherwise.” As you and I march across the decades of time, we are going to meet a lot of unpleasant situations that are so. They cannot be otherwise. We have our choice. We can either accept them as inevitable and adjust ourselves to them, or we can ruin our lives with rebellion and maybe end up with a nervous breakdown.”
“I was clearing out my desk, getting ready to quit, when I came across a letter that I had forgotten-a letter from this nephew who had been killed, a letter he had written to me when my mother had died a few years ago. ‘Of course, we will miss her,’ the letter said, ‘and especially you. But I know you’ll carry on. Your own personal philosophy will make you do that. I shall never forget the beautiful truths you taught me. Wherever I am, or how far apart we may be, I shall always remember that you taught me to smile, and to take whatever comes, like a man.’ “I read and reread that letter. It seemed as if he were there beside me, speaking to me. He seemed to be saying to me: ‘Why don’t you do what you taught me to do? Carry on, no matter what happens. Hide your private sorrows under a smile and carry on.’
“Elizabeth Connley, out in Portland, Oregon, learned what all of us will have to learn sooner or later: namely, that we must accept and co-operate with the inevitable. “It is so. It cannot be otherwise.” That is not an easy lesson to learn.”
“In the hope of restoring his eyesight, Tarkington had to go through more than twelve operations within one year. With local anaesthetic! Did he rail against this? He knew it had to be done. He knew he couldn’t escape it, so the only way to lessen his suffering was to take it with grace. He refused a private room at the hospital and went into a ward, where he could be with other people who had troubles, too. He tried to cheer them up. And when he had to submit to repeated operations-fully conscious of what was being done to his eyes-he tried to remember how fortunate he was. “How wonderful!” he said. “How wonderful, that science now has the skill to operate on anything so delicate as the human eye!”
“God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; The courage to change the things I can; And the wisdom to know the difference. To break the worry habit before it breaks you, Rule 4 is: Co-operate with the inevitable.”
“But as I look back now, I can see that I did just that. I wrote off my two years of sweating over that novel for just what they were worth – a noble experiment – and went forward from there. I returned to my work of organizing and teaching adult-education classes, and wrote biographies in my spare time – biographies and nonfiction books such as the one you are reading now.”
“Uncle Frank worried about their debts. He had a farmer’s horror of running up bills, so he secretly told Dan Eversole to stop letting his wife buy on credit. When she heard that, she hit the roof-and she was still hitting the roof about it almost fifty years after it had happened. I have heard her tell the story-not once, but many times. The last time I ever saw her, she was in her late seventies. I said to her; “Aunt Edith, Uncle Frank did wrong to humiliate you; but don’t you honestly feel that your complaining about it almost half a century after it happened is infinitely worse than what he did?” (I might as well have said it to the moon.)”
“Aunt Edith paid dearly for the grudge and bitter memories that she nourished. She paid for them with her own peace of mind.”
“Years later, when Franklin was a world-famous figure, and Ambassador to France, he still remembered that the fact that he had paid too much for his whistle had caused him “more chagrin than the whistle gave him pleasure.”
“All to what end? Why did these two people turn the only home they had into what Tolstoy himself called “a lunatic asylum”? Obviously, there were several reasons. One of those reasons was their burning desire to impress you and me. Yes, we are the posterity whose opinion they were worried about! Do we give a hoot in Hades about which one was to blame? No, we are too concerned with our own problems to waste a minute thinking about the Tolstoy’s.”
“Whenever we are tempted to throw good money after bad in terms of human living, let’s stop and ask ourselves these three Questions: 1. How much does this thing I am worrying about really matter to me? 2. At what point shall I set a “stop-loss” order on this worry -and forget it? 3. Exactly how much shall I pay for this whistle? Have I already paid more than it is worth?
“How many of you have ever sawed wood? Let’s see your hands.” Most of them had. Then he inquired: “How many of you have ever sawed sawdust?” No hands went up. “Of course, you can’t saw sawdust!” Mr. Shedd exclaimed. “It’s already sawed! And it’s the same with the past. When you start worrying about things that are over and done with, you’re merely trying to saw sawdust.”
“Oh, yes, I used to,” Connie Mack told me. “But I got over that foolishness long years ago. I found out it didn’t get me anywhere at all. You can’t grind any grain,” he said, “with water that has already gone down the creek.”
“Part Three In A Nutshell – How To Break the Worry Habit Before It Breaks You RULE 1: Crowd worry out of your mind by keeping busy. Plenty of action is one of the best therapies ever devised for curing “wibber gibbers”. RULE 2: Don’t fuss about trifles. Don’t permit little things-the mere termites of life-to ruin your happiness. RULE 3: Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries. Ask yourself: “What are the odds against this thing’s happening at all?” RULE 4: Co-operate with the inevitable. If you know a circumstance is beyond your power to change or revise, say to yourself “It is so; it cannot be otherwise.” RULE 5: Put a “stop-loss” order on your worries. Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth-and refuse to give it any more. RULE 6: Let the past bury its dead. Don’t saw sawdust.”
“so I opened the envelope to see what Dad had written. His note said: ‘son, you are 1,500 miles from home, and you don’t feel any different, do you? I knew you wouldn’t, because you took with you the one thing that is the cause of all your trouble, that is, yourself. There is nothing wrong with either your body or your mind. It is not the situations you have met that have thrown you; it is what you think of these situations. “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” When you realise that, son, come home, for you will be cured.’
“If half a century of living has taught me anything at all, it has taught me that “Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.”
“Just For Today 1. Just for today I will be happy. This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true, that “most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Happiness is from within; it is not a matter of externals. 2. Just for today I will try to adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come and fit myself to them. 3. Just for today I will take care of my body. I will exercise it, care for it, nourish it, not abuse it nor neglect it, so that it will be a perfect machine for my bidding. 4. Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. 5. Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out. I will do at least two things I don’t want to do, as William James suggests, just for exercise. 6. Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress as becomingly as possible, talk low, act courteously, be liberal with praise, criticize not at all, nor find fault with anything and not try to regulate nor improve anyone. 7. Just for today I will try to live through this day only, not to tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do things for twelve hours that would appall me if I had to keep them up for a lifetime. 8. Just for today I will have a programme. I will write down what I expect to do every hour. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. It will eliminate two pests, hurry and indecision. 9. Just for today I will have a quiet half-hour all by myself and relax. In this half-hour sometimes I will think of God, so as to get a little more perspective into my life. 10. Just for today I will be unafraid, especially I will not be afraid to be happy, to enjoy what is beautiful, to love, and to believe that those I love, love me. If we want to develop a mental attitude that will bring us peace and happiness, here is Rule 1: Think and act cheerfully, and you will feel cheerful.”
“When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness. Our enemies would dance with joy if only they knew how they were worrying us, lacerating us and getting even with us! Our hate is not hurting them, but our hate is turning our own days and nights into a hellish turmoil.
- Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let’s expect it. Let’s remember that Jesus healed ten lepers in one day and only one thanked Him. Why should we expect more gratitude than Jesus got? B. Let’s remember that the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude, but to give for the joy of giving. C. Let’s remember that gratitude is a “cultivated” trait; so if we want our children to be grateful, we must train them to be grateful.
“About ninety per cent of the things in our lives are right and about ten per cent are wrong. If we want to be happy, all we have to do is to concentrate on the ninety per cent that are right and ignore the ten per cent that are wrong. If we want to be worried and bitter and have stomach ulcers, all we have to do is to concentrate on the ten per cent that are wrong and ignore the ninety per cent that are glorious.”
‘You think now that spending a year in bed will be a tragedy. But it won’t be. You will have time to think and get acquainted with yourself. You will make more spiritual growth in these next few months than you have made during all your previous life.’ I became calmer, and tried to develop a new sense of values.”
“Logan Pearsall Smith packed a lot of wisdom into a few words when he said: “There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.”
“Then in 1943, when she was fifty-two years old, a miracle happened: an operation at the famous Mayo Clinic. She could now see forty times as well as she had ever been able to see before. A new and exciting world of loveliness opened before her. She now found it thrilling even to wash dishes in the kitchen sink. “I begin to play with the white fluffy suds in the dish-pan,” she writes. “I dip my hands into them and I pick up a ball of tiny soap bubbles. I hold them up against the light, and in each of them I can see the brilliant colors of a miniature rainbow.”
“As she looked through the window above the kitchen sink, she saw “the flapping grey-black wings of the sparrows flying through the thick, falling snow.” She found such ecstasy looking at the soap bubbles and sparrows that she closed her book with these words: ” ‘Dear Lord,’ I whisper, ‘Our Father in Heaven, I thank Thee. I thank Thee.’ ” Imagine thanking God because you can wash dishes and see rainbows in bubbles and sparrows flying through the snow 1 You and I ought to be ashamed of ourselves. All the days of our years we have been living in a fairyland of beauty, but we have been too blind to see, too satiated to enjoy. If we want to stop worrying and start living. Rule 4 is: Count your blessings-not your troubles!”
“I changed overnight! I started being myself. I tried to make a study of my own personality. Tried to find out what I was. I studied my strong points. I learned all I could about colours and styles, and dressed in a way that I felt was becoming to me. I reached out to make friends. I joined an organisation-a small one at first-and was petrified with fright when they put me on a programme. But each time I spoke, I gained a little courage. It took a long while-but today I have more happiness than I ever dreamed possible. In rearing my own children, I have always taught them the lesson I had to learn from such bitter experience: No matter what happens, always be yourself!”
“You and I have such abilities, so let’s not waste a second worrying because we are not like other people. You are something new in this world. Never before, since the beginning of time, has there ever been anybody exactly like you; and never again throughout all the ages to come will there ever be anybody exactly like you again. The new science of genetics informs us that you are what you are largely as a result of twenty-four chromosomes contributed by your father and twenty-four chromosomes contributed by your mother. These forty-eight chromosomes comprise everything that determines what you inherit. In each chromosome there may be, says Amran Sheinfeld, “anywhere from scores to hundreds of genes -with a single gene, in some cases, able to change the whole life of an individual.” Truly, we are “fearfully and wonderfully” made.”
“When Charlie Chaplin first started making films, the director of the pictures insisted on Chaplin’s imitating a popular German comedian of that day. Charlie Chaplin got nowhere until he acted himself. Bob Hope had a similar experience: spent years in a singing-and-dancing act-and got nowhere until he began to wisecrack and be himself. Will Rogers twirled a rope in vaudeville for years without saying a word. He got nowhere until he discovered his unique gift for humour and began to talk as he twirled his rope.”
“When Mary Margaret McBride first went on the air, she tried to be an Irish comedian and failed. When she tried to be just what she was-a plain country girl from Missouri-she became one of the most popular radio stars in New York. When Gene Autry tried to get rid of his Texas accent and dressed like city boys and claimed he was from New York, people merely laughed behind his back. But when he started twanging his banjo and singing cowboy ballads, Gene Autry started out on a career that made him the world’s most popular cowboy both in pictures and on the radio.”
“You are something new in this world. Be glad of it. Make the most of what nature gave you. In the last analysis, all art is autobiographical. You can sing only what you are. You can paint only what you are. You must be what your experiences, your environment, and your heredity have made you.”
“Two men looked out from prison bars, One saw the mud, the other saw stars. “I read those two lines over and over. I was ashamed of myself. I made up my mind I would find out what was good in my present situation. I would look for the stars. “I made friends with the natives, and their reaction amazed me. When I showed interest in their weaving and pottery, they gave me presents of their favorite pieces which they had refused to sell to tourists. I studied the fascinating forms of the cactus and the yuccas and the Joshua trees. I learned about prairie dogs, watched for the desert sunsets, and hunted for seashells that had been left there millions of years ago when “What brought about this astonishing change in me? The Mojave Desert hadn’t changed. The Indians hadn’t changed. But I had.”
“I asked if he still felt, after all these years, that his accident had been a terrible misfortune, and he promptly said: “No.” He said: “I’m almost glad now that it happened.” He told me that after he got over the shock and resentment, he began to live in a different world. He began to read and developed a love for good literature. In fourteen years, he said, he had read at least fourteen hundred books; and those books had opened up new horizons for him and made his life richer than he ever thought possible. He began to listen to good music; and he is now thrilled by great symphonies that would have bored him before. But the biggest change was that he had time to think. “For the first time in my life,” he said, “I was able to look at the world and get a real sense of values. I began to realise that most of the things I had been striving for before weren’t worth-while at all.”
“As a result of his reading, he became interested in politics, studied public questions, made speeches from his wheel-chair! He got to know people and people got to know him. Today Ben Fortson-still in his wheel-chair-is Secretary of State for the State of Georgia!”
“Dr. Adler urges us to do a good deed every day. And what is a good deed? “A good deed,” said the prophet Mohammed, “is one that brings a smile of joy to the face of another.”
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Davidson Hang is currently in Sales at Cheetah Digital which is a Marketing technology company located in NYC.
Davidson is an avid networker, personal growth- life and business coach.
He loves spreading the love and regularly helps people create and design the life they want for themselves.
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