Reflections on over 6 months of lock down

These are the top ten things I learned about myself from over six months of working from home. 

1. How much I tied my identity to work– I would come into the office at 7 am every day and leave most days after 6 pm. (I wasn’t working the whole time- I would use the gym downstairs and take meditation/wellness classes throughout the day. I swear I’m not that much of a workaholic). Working for a fantastic company like LinkedIn, its hard not to identify yourself with your accomplishment, especially as a salesperson because of how result driven the role is and that a large portion of your income comes from the results you produce. I realize how unhealthy it was that a lot of my own self worth was depending on how many competitions I win. It’s good to put my all into but also realizing that if I don’t have a fantastic month, it doesn’t matter anything about who I am. 
2. Trusting yourself and the power of self-belief. This quarter -I am doing well right now at 372% of my quarter with still some time left, and I am expecting three more deals to come in within the next few days. I remember feeling so down on myself when I was not having the best year amongst the chaos with COVID and how companies were on a spending freeze. I’m happy that LinkedIn still thinks I’m valuable enough to keep. Thank you for everything! I appreciate you, LinkedIn for helping me to be able to buy a house which I never thought was possible at this age and at this stage in my life. In a weird way, COVID has helped me realize how reliant I was on the NYC life which was great in terms of being able to experience cool restaurants and live a high-quality life of exploration and networking wise. 
3. How attached I was to my friends and socially– I will never forget what my friend Diana Jia said to me one day after a networking event. She was like you are probably the most extroverted person I have ever met in my life. One of my close buddies Spencer White said something similar about how I appreciated and wanted to be more like me because I was so extroverted and was able to approach so many random people at the Summit of Greatness conference and invite them into our group. Funny enough, I was like I wish I were a better listener, and I feel like introverted people are so great at listening, and I wished I paused more to be able to understand people instead of having to fill the air with words all of the time. Knowing that I can create communities is my superpower but being able to date myself and be by myself is one of the hardest things for me during this pandemic. I’m grateful for the opportunity to learn more about myself and be okay with nothingness. From that, I gain clarity and respect myself that I am okay with hanging out with myself. 
4. How little quality time I dedicated to improving my romantic relationship– sometimes you take people for granted, and I will never forget the actions that my partner Sammy had taken when I was lost, confused, and depressed. She would take the train all the way up to Trumbull, CT to see my every weekend, and I will never forget how unconditional love warmed up my heart so much. Although I will never forget the amazing people, I’ve met through countless networking events and through Ivy, where I’ve met some of the coolest folks around that I still talk to today. Do I want to become someone where when my partner says, don’t forget to hug me every morning before you start your day, I can’t even make that a priority? Self-compassion is such a valuable skill that I am practicing. The cool thing about these last six months is being able to understand each other and grow. Once you identify the gaps, you have so much more room to play and ground, and for that, I’m incredibly grateful. 
5. Wow! I can actually be a decent Account Executive– this might sound crazy to most people, but self-talk is the darnest thing. When speaking with my coach and therapist, I had a story about not being a closer, which is simply not true because I’ve had so much success, but for some reason, my own story was that I am not a strong salesperson. Once I admitted to myself that I could be capable of being a top performer, I was able to relax and trust the process a bit more. Speak with me in a few months, and we will see if that changes, haha but I do think its a choice like with anything else obviously the work required is implied but respecting the process and trusting and having faith that I can make it happen is the first step. 
6. Enjoying the little moments– every win even if it’s doesn’t mean much in terms of my income- I cherish the little moments so much more like for instance when we finally go back into the office I’m positive that I will cry a bit during the parts where I can meditate with Kelly, Traci, Vaughn, and Brian. From the coconut water to seeing my manager’s smile and her calmness will be things I will forever cherish. It’s funny how when things are absent is when we realize the little things is what life is really all about. 
7. Happy Birthdays are a lot of fun– I remember thinking, how can I be different. Nowadays, I try to sing Happy Birthday messages to my friends to acknowledge that I am thinking of them and that I care about them. The worst thing I could do is to be too busy “moving up” in my career that I can’t even take the time to acknowledge my friends and how awesome they are. 
8. Grateful for technology– Thank god for Microsoft teams and Zoom- To be able to connect with everyone. Today during my early morning workouts at 7:15 am, I was reflecting on how the 4 of us are in different states, CT, IL, TN, and NJ, but we were all able to connect, share gratitude, do breathe work, an AMRAP, and grow together. To be able to do that is a blessing, and I am grateful to build friendships with people all over the world. It’s a beautiful age we live in when you let in sink in.
9. Finally, having the time to read books again- During my 1000+ books journey, some of my favorite moments in life was being able to sit back and spend the whole time to finish a book. I love reading books because of the growth, the adventure, the exploration, and the ability to truly capture someone’s knowledge. To be able to write a book requires dedication, commitment, and courage. The Courage to share and the courage to be the one to inspire others. I’ve never made so much progress because of the space to be I can what whatever I want to be and that is beautiful. 
10. Gratitude as a practice– Being able to have the space to practice a daily gratitude has been beautiful. I love that I can share with others my lessons along the way. When I was too “busy” to do my daily tasks for myself- because I was “pulled into” so many directions. I’m grateful to be able to be of service, and without having to commute everywhere, I can actually be there for many people surprisingly because our time management skills can improve when we aren’t spending hours a day commuting everywhere. 

I hope you enjoyed my takeaways, and thanks for taking the time to read this. I would love to learn more about your takeaways from the last six months of being with yourself more than you normally are. 

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