Notes from a Friend: A Quick and Simple Guide to Taking Control of Your Life by Tony Robbins

These were the passages that stood out to me when reading his book. I attended a four-day event by Tony Robbins and it granted me so much peace of mind and confidence in myself that I went ahead and downloaded this book to keep the momentum going.

“Have a great Thanksgiving!” In that moment, this young man’s life was forever changed. With this simple act of kindness, he learned that hope is eternal, that people—even “strangers”— really do care. The sense of gratitude he felt moved him deeply, and he swore to himself that someday he’d do well enough to give something back to others in a similar way. And by the time he was eighteen years old, he had begun to fulfill that promise.” 

“Latina woman who looked at him suspiciously. She had six children, and her husband had abandoned the family only a few days before. They had no food. The young man offered, “I have a delivery for you, ma’am.” He then went out to his car and began to carry in bags and boxes overflowing with food: a turkey, stuffing, pies, sweet potatoes, canned goods. The woman’s jaw dropped. The children, when they saw the food being brought into the house, let out shrieks of delight. The young mother, who spoke only broken English, grabbed the young man by the arm and started to kiss him all over, saying, “You gift from God! You gift from God!” 

“How do I know so much about this young man and his family, not only about what they did, but also how they felt? Because he is me. I wrote this book because I want you to know that someone cares about you. I want you to know that no matter how daunting or overwhelming your circumstances may seem, you truly can turn things around. You can turn the dreams you once had into reality. How? By tapping into a power that’s inside of you right now as you read these words. This power within you can change anything in your life literally in a matter of moments. All you must do is unleash it.” 

“I’m here to tell you, though, that in less than one year, I changed it all. I lost 30 pounds in less than 30 days. And  I kept it off, because I didn’t just go on a diet, I changed my mindset. I trained my body into peak physical condition. I developed the confidence that was necessary to make it through the tough times and really achieve the goals I’d dreamed about. My secret was focusing on the needs of other people.”

“moved from my run-down apartment to my present home: a 10,000-square-foot castle overlooking the Pacific  Ocean. But I didn’t stop there. As soon as I’d proved I could help myself, I immediately sought out the most profound ways to help others. I began to search for role models, those who could create change with lightning like speed. These peak performers were some of the top teachers and therapists in the world, those who helped people with their problems in one or two sessions instead of one, two, or more years. Like a sponge, I learned as much as I could and began applying what they taught me immediately. I began to develop a series of strategies and understandings of my own.” 

“We get to the point where we believe that nothing will work. If you find yourself at the point where you’re not  even willing to try, you’ve put yourself in a place called “learned helplessness.” You’ve literally learned—ro  taught yourself—that you’re “helpless.” The good news is that you’re wrong. You can make things happen! You can change anything in your life today by changing your perceptions and changing your actions.” 

“I am not discouraged because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.” —Thomas Edison 

“and when it hasn’t worked out, they’ve given up. The key to success is to decide what’s most important to you and then take massive action each day to make it better, even when it doesn’t look as if it’s working.” 

“Many people have great ideas. But Colonel Sanders was different. He was a man who didn’t just think of great things to do. He put them into action. He went and started knocking on doors, telling each restaurant owner his story: “I’ve got a great chicken recipe, and I think if you use it, it’ll increase your sales. And I’d like to get a  percentage of that increase.” 

“How many times do you think Colonel Sanders heard no before getting the answer he wanted? He was refused  1,009 times before he heard his first yes. He spent two years driving across America in his old, beat-up car,  sleeping in the back seat in his rumpled white suit, getting up each day eager to share his idea with someone new. Often, the only food he had was a quick bite of the samples he was preparing for prospective buyers. How many people do you think would have gone for 1,009 noes—two years of noes!—and kept on going? Very few.  That’s why there’s only one Colonel Sanders. I think most people wouldn’t get past twenty noes, much less a  hundred or a thousand! Yet this is sometimes what it takes to succeed.”

“If you look at any of the most successful people in history, you will find this common thread: They would not be denied. They would not accept no. They would not allow anything to stop them from making their vision, their goal, a reality. Did you know that Walt Disney was turned down 302 times before he got financing for his dream of creating “The Happiest Place on Earth”? All the banks thought he was crazy. He wasn’t crazy; he was a  visionary and, more important, he was committed to making that vision a reality. Today, millions of people have shared in “the joy of Disney,” a world like no other, a world launched by the decision of one man.” 

“I had to keep reminding myself that NO PROBLEM IS PERMANENT. NO PROBLEM  AFFECTS MY ENTIRE LIFE. THIS TOO SHALL PASS IF I CONTINUE TO TAKE MASSIVE, POSITIVE,  CONSTRUCTIVE ACTION.” 

“Right now it’s time for you to make a decision. Right now you have to promise yourself that you’ll never indulge in feelings of being defeated or depressed again. This doesn’t mean that you have to be unrealistic about the challenges before you. It simply means that you now understand that the emotions of defeat and depression stop you from taking the very actions that can change your life.” 

“But one day she left him, too—and he felt that his life was over. He decided to commit suicide. But before he committed the act, he tried to get some help by checking himself into a mental hospital. In that hospital, his life changed—not because he was “cured,” but because it scared him to see just how bad things could be! He realized that he had no real problems. And that day, he promised himself that he would never, ever allow himself to get that down again. He would work as hard as he had to, for as long as he had to, to finally become the successful musician he knew he could be.” 

“Mr. Honda often decided to see some of the biggest obstacles in his way as mere hurdles in the race to reach his goals.” 

“Instead, he spent the next two years continuing to find ways to make the piston ring better. He had the key formula to success: 1. He decided what he wanted. 2. He took action. 3. He noticed whether it was working or not, and when things weren’t working out, 4. He kept changing his approach. He was flexible in the way he went about things. Finally, after two more years, he refined his design, and Toyota actually bought it!”

“How else can I feed my family? How can I use things I already have to find a way to get there?” He noticed a  little motor he had, one that was the size and type to drive a traditional lawn mower, and he got the idea of hooking it up to his bicycle. In that moment, the first motorized bike was created. He drove it to and from the market, and pretty soon his Mends were asking him to make some for them, too. Shortly thereafter, he’d made so many “motorbikes” that he ran out of motors, so he decided to build a new factory to manufacture his own.  But he had no money, and Japan was torn apart. How would he do it? 

“They’ve become examples of the unlimited power of the human spirit. How did these amazing individuals do it?  They all, at some moment, decided that they’d had enough. They decided they would no longer tolerate anything but the best. They made a real decision to change their lives. What do I mean by a “real decision”? So many people say things like, “Well, I really should lose some weight. I should make more money. I should do something to get a better job. I should stop drinking.” But you can “should” all over yourself, and things still won’t change!” 

“When you make a real decision, you draw a line, and it’s not in the sand but in cement. The only way to change your life is to make a real decision. A real decision means you cut off any other possibility than the one you’ve decided to make a reality. 

What do you think his response is? Right: “Maybe.” And the story goes on and on, as does life. If you believe in something, and it hasn’t worked yet, maybe you’re judging too soon. When you think you’re in trouble, maybe you’re not. Maybe it’s only temporary. Just remember that your ability to make these judgments wisely will depend largely on the possibilities that you envision because . . .” 

“So many people want to change how they feel, but they don’t know how. The fastest way to change how you feel about anything is to change what you’re focusing on.” 

“Let me give you a simple example. Let’s say you go to a party, and you have a video camera. All night, you focus that camera lens on the left corner of the room where a couple is arguing. As you focus on it, you, too,  might get caught up in their anger and unhappiness. Since you’re focusing on their rage, you’re probably thinking, “What a miserable couple. What a miserable party.” What if, that same night at the party, you’d focused your attention on the right corner? In the right corner, there are a bunch of people laughing and joking and, instead of fighting, they’re having a blast! Then if somebody asked you, “What was the party like?,” you’d say, “Oh! It was a wonderful party!” The point is simple: There are unlimited things people can notice, but too many of us focus on what’s terrible, on the things we can’t control.” 

“Steer Your Focus in the Right Direction Can you see why focus is so important? It controls how you see the world and what you do about it. Do you think it might also control how you feel? You bet it does.” 

“For miles around, there’s only one telephone pole, but somehow they manage to hit it. The reason is that as soon as people lose control, they zero in on exactly what they want to avoid—and they connect with it. The reality is that whatever you focus on you move toward.” 

“One day, his answer came. Lech smelled rotting flesh just a few feet from where he worked: men, women, and children who had been gassed and whose naked corpses had been piled into the back of a truck. Instead of  focusing on the question “How could God allow something so evil to happen?,” he asked himself, “How can I  use this to escape?” As the sun set and the work party left for the barracks, he pulled off his clothes and dove naked into the pile of bodies while no one was looking. Pretending to be dead, he waited with the sickening smell of death all around him, the weight of all the corpses pressing upon him. Finally, he heard the truck engine start. After a short ride, the mountain of bodies was dumped into an open grave. He waited until he was certain no one was nearby, and then ran—naked—the 25 miles to freedom.” 

“Ask and you will receive. Seek and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” —Matthew 7:7 

“The Morning Power Questions 1. What am I happy about in my life right now? What about that makes me happy? How does that make me feel? 2. What am I excited about in my life right now? What about that makes me excited? How does that make me feel? 3. What am I proud of in my life right now? What about that makes me proud? How does that make me feel? 4. What am I grateful for in my life right now? What about that makes me grateful? How does that make me feel? 5. What am I enjoying most in my life right now? What about that do  I enjoy? How does that make me feel? 6. What am I committed to in my life right now? What about that makes me committed? How does that make me feel? 7. Who do I love? Who loves me? What about that makes me loving? How does that make me feel?” 

“The Evening Power Questions 1. What have I given today? In what ways have I been a giver today? 2. What did  I learn today? 3. How has today added to the quality of my life? How can I use today as an investment in my future?” 

“Remember that his focus was determining the meaning. In any situation, you can focus on what will make you feel better or on what will make you feel worse—and whatever you look for you’ll find.” 

“Then I asked him a really tough question: “What’s great about your partner leaving?” He said, “You know, what could be great about this is that I hate coming into the city every day, and I love being at my home in  Connecticut. What’s also great about this is that I get to look at everything in a new way.” This made him think of a whole string of possibilities, and he decided to set up a new office in Connecticut just five minutes from his home, bring his son into the business, and have an answering service pick up his calls in Manhattan. He got so excited that he decided to look for a new office immediately. In a matter of minutes, the power of questions had worked their magic. Had his resources always been available to him? Of course, but the questions he’d been asking had made him feel helpless, causing him to see himself as an old man who’d lost everything he’d built. In reality, life had given him a tremendous gift, but he hadn’t been able to see the truth until he started asking quality questions. Another life-changing tool is your physiology. What’s that? Let me tell you about it. . . .” 

“But the secret was doing this consciously and deliberately in the beginning and until these unfamiliar movements became my own. Eventually, I didn’t have to think about them anymore. I wasn’t acting. They were simply powerful, positive habits within my mind and nervous system.”

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