The incredible Ray Dalio

“Think for yourself while being radically open-minded.” is his claim to fame.

I just finished his book Principles and it really makes you want to write down your principles to abide by so that life is much easier when you have to make important decisions whether its family or business you have to choose between when it comes down to it.

For those of you who do not know Ray Dalio is the chairman of Bridgewater Associates which is the biggest hedge fund in the world.

Bridgewater is known for its culture for being able to be radically transparent and how they challenge and defy intending to change the norm culture of corporate America.

I have also noticed that most billions and Forbes magazine features have all recommended Joseph Campbell’s the Hero with a Thousand Faces highlighting the Hero’s journey and how life is a series of obstacles and to enjoy the process along the way. It’s never about the end or destination but more about appreciating the moments good and/or bad along the way.

“The belief that I’m at a stage in life when making others successful without me is the most important thing I can do.”

“Love looking at what you don’t know, your mistakes, and your weaknesses, because understanding them is essential for making the most of your life.”

This is so crucial because the moment you learn to embrace your weaknesses you will be able to live a much more fulfilled life. It is in our darkest moments when we learn the most about ourselves and what we are capable of.

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Some more amazing Tim Ferriss Life lesson quotes from his guests (Tribe of Mentors)

p.175 “Every smart person and stable person I know both walks and meditates. The app Headspace is a fun way to start. Try and do it every day. But I suggest not doing it while you are walking… for now.” – Jimmy Fallon

Life is but a delicate balance. It’s all about being able to move because your body needs it but also the peace that comes with self-discovery and self-actualization.

This simple quote from Jimmy explains the last 6 months for me. I started using Headspace a little bit over a year ago and there has been so much that has changed. I started trusting myself more and learning more about my greatness.

The journey has been a rocky one but giving my mind a break from the billions of books and podcasts has actually given me a lot of reflection space to think about everything I have created for myself this year.

He interviewed Annie Duke who is one of top poker players in the world.

“Challenge yourself to truly listen to people who have differing ideas and opinions than you do.”

“Poker has taught me to disconnect failure from outcomes. Just because I lose doesn’t mean I failed, and just because I won doesn’t mean I succeeded-not when you define success and failure around making good decisions that will win in the long run.What matters is the decisions I made along the way, and every decision failure is an opportunity to learn and adjust my strategy going forward. By doing this, losing becomes a less emotional experience and more an opportunity to explore and learn.” (p.174)

This is so true, its okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. Doing the right thing is always the best way to go because things eventually normalize. People can get lucky once or twice but typically things usually end up resorting to the mean.

This paragraph summarizes what I do for a living in a nutshell

Sometimes I find it hard to explain to people what life coaching is because there is so much that we do that I often get tongue-tied thinking of just one way to describe it. After reading this in Tim Ferriss’s Tribe of Mentors. I felt like I had to share it the world.

“If I accept you as you are, I make you worse, however if I treat you as though you are capable of becoming I help you become that.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

In my practice, when I see clients for the first time, I see them as the end product- the way they will be in the future. They are all beautiful. What stands between who they are and who they want to be is their willingness to change strong habits, belief systems, and the gracefulness to embrace a new way of living. I aid them in their pursuit of change and liberation from unwanted habits.

My best investment was spending money on mentors and personal education. I’ve spent time and energy to learn how to effectively help every person who walks through my door.

My best investments to date were when I worked on my personal development such as mediation, this coaching/leadership development program and worked on my well being. Filling the cup is so important in life.

Being of service is great but when the airplane comes crashing down you need to be able to put on your masks first before helping others put on their masks.

I hope everyone had some rest this extended Holiday weekend! Cheers to everyone out there pushing themselves and conquering their fears to reach their dreams. If you aren’t, give me a call 😛

Takeaways from Tribe of Mentors -Tim Ferriss (part1)

Naval Ravikant- founder of Angelist.

“Happiness is a choice you make and a skill you develop. The mind is just as malleable as the body. We spend so much time and effort trying to change the external world, other people, and our own bodies, all while accepting ourselves the way we were programmed in our youths. We accept the voice that talks to us in our head all the time as the source of all truth. But all of it is malleable, every day is new and memory and identity are burdens from the past and prevent us from living freely in the present. ” (p.33)

“Every book I read that wasn’t assigned to me or that I didn’t read with a purpose in mind. The genuine love for reading itself, when cultivated, is a superpower. We live in the age of Alexandria, when every book and every piece of knowledge ever written down is a fingertip away. The means of learning are abundant- it’s the desire to learn that’s scarce. Cultivate that desire by reading what you want, not what you’re supposed to.” (p.33)

“Suffering is a moment of clarity, when you can no longer deny the truth of a situation and are forced into uncomfortable change. I’m lucky that I didn’t get everything I wanted in life, or I’d be happy with my first good job, my college sweetheart, my college town. Being poor when young led to making money when old. Losing faith in my bosses and elders made me independent and an adult. Almost getting into the wrong marriage helped me recognize and enter the right one. Falling sick made me focus on my health. It goes on and on. Inside suffering is the seed of change. (p.32)

Terry Crews

“Work hard to beat the competition” The truth is that competition is the opposite of creativity. If I am working hard to beat the competition, it actually prevents me from thinking creatively to make all concepts of competition obsolete.

This competitive mindset destroys people. It’s the scorched-earth way of thinking, and everyone is burned.

The truth is that you need success of everyone in your field in order to achieve your own success. Creativity operates differently. You work hard because you’re inspired to, not because you have to. Work becomes fun, and you have energy for days.

When you’re creative, you can, in fact, cheer others on with the full knowledge that their success will undoubtedly be your own.” (p.23)

“In order to have you must do, and in order to do you must be.” (p.19)

Create win-win situations always.

“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have gone. Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.” – Steve Jobs.

“What you seek is seeking you.”- Rumi

“Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.” -Oscar Wilde

Everything happens for a reason, even if you cannot see it right now at this very moment.

Samin Nosrat- “I have so many spectacular failures, but looking back, I can see how each of them led me a little closer to doing what I actually wanted to do.” (p.2)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Homo Deus: A brief history of tomorrow by Yuval Noah Harari

Wow! What a thought provoking book. He talks about organisms are essentially algorithms that our biochemical is what causes us to have the thoughts and the concept of free will is discussed. Do we really have free will?

He also talks about “intersubjective reality” such as corporations, the concept of money is really just made up.

  • Harari argues that humanism is a form of religion that worships humankind instead of a god. It puts humankind and its desires as a top priority in the world in which humans themselves are framed as the dominant beings. Humanists believe that ethics and values are derived internally within each individual, rather than from an external source. During the 21st century, Harari believes that humanism may push humans to search for immortality, happiness, and power.
  • Technological developments have threatened the continued ability of humans to give meaning to their lives; Harari suggests the possibility of the replacement of humankind with a super-man, or “homo deus” (human god) endowed with supernatural abilities such as eternal life.[1]

The way we worship Larry Page, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos is similar to religions if you think about it.

I really enjoyed this book and it was such a thought provoking book to talk about how we as humans act and how we can aimlessly follow an organization or believes in what the media says.

It’s going to be interesting to see how AI affects us. He makes the argument that doctors, lawyers, and many other professions now will be replaced by AI.

If you guys need a change of pace book, this book will definitely rock your world.

Some of the things I have learned from this book.

  • We need to be more mindful of following trends.
  • Everything is subjective, we cannot predict the future. Anyone that thinks they can predict the future is foolish.
  • Technology is really affecting religion and how we believe in it is changing into humanism.
  • What seems ridiculous is going to be acceptable in a few years.
  • How imaginary borders have such a huge impact in how humans interact with each other. The search for external youth is going to be sooner than you think. The rich will be able to live on more longer.

 

 

 

Emotional Intelligence

What a buzz word. Anyone who is on Linkedin more than 5 minutes sees the word being thrown around everywhere.

What does it mean to me?

I think that emotional intelligence personally means you are able to relate to anyone and be able to get along with and connect with anyone.

I would say most of my life. I have been battling and thinking about how I can improve my emotional intelligence. It’s been an interesting journey from calling up random sales top performers and picking their brains.

One of the things I have noticed with people that are amazing networkers is that they truly care.

The best networkers in the world not only add value. That is a given but they make you feel like they genuinely care about you. Not the people that run around collecting and handing out business cards like its a game and race to see whoever collects the most business cards wins in this networking game.

I learned the hard way. Early on in my career after attending 1000 networking events. I used to be so excited to connect with as many people as possible. Only the last year and a half or so I finally realize why am I rushing instead of trying just being present and enjoying the moment. Now how I look at networking events is a real opportunity to even just to connect with one person on an extremely deep level. To leave an everlasting impression.

How do I do this you ask? Just by asking deep questions and eliminate some of the small talk. Yes, depending on the person and how it feels. I would warm up first by talking about common interests. As the conversation involves you can really see a person’s greatness by asking them questions such as what is your life’s purpose? What are You passionate about? People tend to light up when you truly take the time to really get to know someone by asking people questions that people are normally too scared to ask.

Am I claiming I am an emotional intelligence expert? Certainly not, I am still only 30 years old but I have interacted with enough people in the world to realize and see common trends and themes.Studying Tim Ferriss, James Altucher, Lewis Howe’s and all of the guests they bring on.

I do notice that the top guys and gals in the industry always make you feel like a million bucks and being authentical too. One of the things I have been proud of is to be able to give genuine sincere compliments. This is due to an extra layer of listening so even if I just spent 5 minutes speaking to someone. I can refer back to something unique they said that was memorable during a follow-up email. That truly shows that you care and that their relationships mean something to you.

Well, I sincerely appreciate you guys taking the time to read my takeaway of the day. I am in the process of creating an email list to talk about little tips and advice relating to emotional intelligence on a weekly basis so stay tuned.

What’s your relationship to fear and failure?

This is obviously a pretty big topic for most.

I will tell you a story about mine.

I used to be so afraid of public speaking after doing it 10-20+ times it became much easier.

I used to think that I was never going to be creative enough to write. Now I try to write content on a daily basis.

I used to think that I will never be strong because “my body type just isn’t that way.”

Now I go to Crossfit every day and just hit my one year anniversary with Crossfit! Shout to Solace on 32nd and Park! (I love you too Crossfit Beast River and Crossfit NYC)  I love the support I get there.

I had a manager that told me I should not be in sales. Now, I surround myself with the greatest and have my own sales podcast and just finished my 8th episode. I have ttakenthe initiative to build my own sales ecosystem by reaching to the folks on the sales podcast I learn to regularly and started a monthly sales meetup group). In addition to create a community on Linkedin full of sales professional that is close to 600 members where we exchange ideas and talk about best practices in sales).

I used to think I lack emotional intelligence, now I go to networking events almost on a daily basis. I have learned the skill of connecting, trust, and just being yourself. I do think most people overthink networking events. The less of an agenda you have, you just need to focus on being yourself and being able to add value, the rest will happen organically.

The point is just because you are a certain way does not mean you do not have the ability to change it. You can be whoever you want to be anyone that tells you otherwise has their own insecurities.

I truly did not believe this until recently. Anyone that knows me, people usually say I am the most extroverted person they have ever met in the world. It’s funny because I love being alone and being able just to read an awesome book, thought provoking book. I have finally learned to love myself. It was not an easy journey quite the opposite. I will write a whole blog post on that tomorrow

My relationship to failure is still getting better everyday. Doing small things like this where I put myself out there has helped me realize that anything is possible. I will never imagine that I would get over 3000 page views after blogging for short amount of time.

Fear is always going to be there. As the great Tim Ferriss says fear is never going to go away.  Even stunt men have fear, its just knowing how to deal with it or acting/doing in spite of fear.

You think I am not afraid of putting myself out there so the world can learn about my insecurities, flaws, and mistakes? No, it’s incredibly scary and I do care about what other people think. I have even cried before because of people’s comments. It doesn’t mean, I shouldn’t put myself out there but there are people in the world with insecurities who like to project how they feel. Because of a number of reasons. It doesn’t mean anything about you.

So I ask you all. What is your relationship to fear? Have you thought about it? What’s your relationship to failure? How do you react to failure? Is failure bad to you? We live in a world and our parents/ families try to protect you from failure.

It is within failure where we learn the most about ourselves. Putting yourself into constant failure everyday helps mold you and learning from your failures is what separates the high performers from everyone else.