Tribe of Millionaires: What if one choice could change _everything? by David Osborn, Pat Hiban, Mike McCarthy, Tim Rhode, Hal Elrod

These were my favorite passages from a book about masterminds and the power of accountability groups.

“The authors of this book are on a mission to change that. GoBundance is a group for men and women who want to lead epic lives— lives filled with health, wealth, generosity and strong, connected relationships. When I attended my first GoBundance event, I was still working on my business dream of reaching $1 million in annual revenue. I quickly doubled that after joining, and I’ve never looked back. But GoBundance is much more than entrepreneurship and so much more than networking. At its core, the group revolves around a deep commitment to the things that are most important in life—things like relationships, health, and abundance. That was a commitment I needed to learn. I used to say that family was the most important thing in the world. And I believed what I was saying, too. Then I got cancer. That experience quickly woke me up to the fact that I was talking the relationship talk.” 

“Too many entrepreneurs say that family is their number one priority. Yet their lives tell a very different story. They are overscheduled, overworked, and often overwhelmed. With the help of GoBundance, I’ve gone from saying and believing that relationships are the most important thing in my world to actually aligning my life with that philosophy. Because of it, my business and my life have flourished. If you’ve struggled to make change, or it seems like you’ve done everything right and something still seems wrong, my bet is that you’re disconnected from the fundamental truth that who you surround yourself with determines your future. Your opportunity to rediscover that truth—and change your life—lies in this remarkable story.” 

“One went on to become the top ReMax real estate agent in the world. The other built a nine-figure net worth (and counting) and became a New York Times bestselling author. (And lest you think it was all work, no play, they also traveled the world with their families, transformed their health, and gave a whole lot back, too.” 

“They got better at working together and supporting each other. They built a specialized toolkit of processes and techniques to help leverage the power of groups. And somewhere, on a long road trip across the southern US, they came up with a new idea: What if we took what we have and brought it to EVERYONE?” 

“It was Jasmine who started calling it “Hail Mary” Friday. Leave it to my wife to nail the perfect combination of brutal honesty and optimism.” 

“The room was packed. And not just with quiet groups of subdued funeral goers. It was alive. The noise I’d heard outside the door was a pale shadow of what was going on inside. There were groups of people everywhere, nestled together, holding drinks, laughing. Young kids ran around the room. Teenagers stood, awkward, but not unhappy, against the far wall. Everywhere in the room I looked there were people. Everywhere I looked there was life.” 

“He was self-absorbed. A failed businessman, despite being a workaholic. He was also a drunk, and as far as I knew, friendless. That, I realized, was the biggest surprise of all. I was here for the funeral of a man who I assumed had died broke, unhappy, and alone. Instead, I found a room filled with vibrant energy. Filled with a community. It made no sense. Unless funeral homes were hiring extras, something had changed in my father’s life.” 

“T o M I looked closer. There seemed to be words written on each card, but the text was too small to read. My curiosity flared up. What was on the cards? Who were these men? For the first time in two decades, I realized I actually wanted to know something about my father’s life.” 

“I stepped through the front door to find a vast, marble-floored atrium. At the opposite side, I could see a reception desk. I walked toward it, my footsteps echoing across the high glass ceilings, trying to look as if a guy who couldn’t afford parking actually belonged here. Finally, I gave up trying to be cool and simply gazed around in wonder. This place is huge. Had my father worked here? I had no idea. I knew nothing about him, beyond my unpleasant childhood memories. Still, I couldn’t help but speculate. The closer I’d gotten to downtown that morning, the more I’d begun to wonder. I had absolutely no idea what his estate was worth, if anything. But still… was this my Hail Mary? My miracle?” 

“Read away.” I made no attempt to hide my irritation. “I, Roberto Martinez, being of sound mind and body, do hereby bequeath my entire estate and all its assets to my only son, Ethan, subject to the following conditions.” I felt my hackles rise at that word again: conditions. “Number one,” Simon continued. “Ethan will, within 24 hours, report to the executor of my estate. Number two, Ethan will for seven days remain in the custody of Simon and the other group members. On day seven, all my assets will be transferred in full to Ethan.” 

“That was it. I’d had it. “Oh, I know what the estate is,” I said. Simon cocked his head. “It’s bullshit,” I said. “Just like everything else about my father.” I stood up. “If I learned anything from my father, it was how to cut and run. Thanks for your time, but the answer is no.” I walked to the elevator and stepped inside. I reached over to hit the “1” button. I stopped, my finger poised over the button.” 

“After a few conversations like that, I gave up trying to explain. I just switched to the “my father passed away,” story. Everyone understood that. Everyone except me, that is. Jasmine sat on the bed while I packed. It seemed to take forever. I had no idea where I was going or what I was doing. 

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He reached into the bag at his feet and pulled out the same monogrammed leather folder I’d seen on his desk in the office. “I’m not trying to be particularly secretive, Ethan,” he said as he opened the folder. “I just know from experience—as did your father—that learning new things is a process. It happens in small stages. In layers that build over time.” 

“I’d like you to write down—in no particular order—the people you spend the most time with. Come up with ten if you can. Just jot down their first names in the column on the left.” 

“That was four. Who else? I remember the couples we had dinner with regularly, and I jotted them down. That gave me ten. I looked over the list. There it was: my ten closest friends. It was strange to write them down like that—to commit it to paper—but it was true. Those were the people I spent the most time with, the people I naturally fit with. We vacationed together, ate together, laughed together. When the going got tough, we supported each other.” 

“Done,” I said. “Ten names. Very mysterious,” I added, with a smile. I was beginning to relax. As crazy as this all was, here I was in a private jet. I knew if Jas were here, she’d be elbowing me, saying, Smile, Ethan. This is amazing. Embrace it.” 

“Remarkable, yes? I’ve never seen it come out any other way.” I looked at the list. My income wasn’t exactly the same as the average I’d calculated, but it was so close that it was shocking. “I could ask you to do the same thing for your body fat,” he said, “or any number of other things, and you’d see a similar result.” 

“We’re being subtly shaped by the world around us all the time,” Simon said. “Just being here in this jet, for example, is changing you the way you think. It might make you more motivated. Or it might make you insecure. It might make you more confident. The point is that it’s having an effect below the level of your awareness. It’s what we call the Influence Effect. It means that, even without you being aware of it, your environment is constantly changing you.” 

“What looks like a lone island in the sea is constantly being transformed by the Influence Effect. That beach is shaped by the waves. That beautiful lagoon is the remains of an ancient volcano. Like the island, you’re constantly being shaped by forces around you. And the greatest of those forces is people.” 

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The people you’re closest to change how you think, what you believe, and how you act. Their influence can be an anchor that holds you back, or sail that moves you forward; the choice is yours.” 

“The First Effect Summary THE INFLUENCE EFFECT Your destiny is shaped by those around you You’re being subtly and powerfully shaped by your environment—often below the level of your awareness. The most powerful of environmental influences is the people around you. The people you choose to surround yourself with can be an anchor that holds you back, or sail that moves you forward; the choice is yours.” 

“You simply need to make more conscious choices about the people you allow to influence you.” 

“Was there anyone in my life that I’d consciously chosen because of their influence? I didn’t think so. I’d chosen Jasmine for love—I knew that. I had hired the people in the business for their skills. And my friends? Well, I suppose they were just people I enjoyed. Had I been conscious in choosing them? I wasn’t sure. My thoughts drifted to other people in my life. Now that I was seeing things through a different lens, I began to wonder: were they influencing me? I had one friend who loved to exercise—we often did things outdoors together, like hiking. Another friend was different. He loved bars and restaurants and movies. When I was with him, I realized, I had fun, but I tended to make different choices; not all of them were great ones.” 

“What stuck with me long after the names had vanished was the way in which so many of the men greeted me. “It’s so nice to finally meet you, Ethan,” was a phrase that I heard over and over. It was if they all knew me somehow. It was unsettling, but, I had to admit, it was also comforting.” 

“I paid special attention to the men I recognized from my father’s funeral. Like Simon, each seemed fit and healthy, but also gave off an almost palpable energy—a strange mixture of confidence without arrogance, contentment without complacency. Each was different, yet they were alike in that I’d never met anyone quite like them.” 

“I leaned over to Simon. “I never thought I’d say this, but I’d like to ask you more about my father.” He nodded. “All in good time, Ethan. Your father was a great man. Extraordinary. It would be my privilege. But tonight,” he said, motioning at the table around us, “just relax. Enjoy. You have a lot ahead of you.” Extraordinary? My father? A lot ahead of me? One mystery after another. Embrace it, Jas said, in my inner ear. As we ate, a full moon rose above the mountain.” 

“The waves, smaller now in the night, splashed smoothly against the sand. As the buzz of conversation and laughter continued long into the night, I looked up at the stars overhead. Embrace it. For the first time in as long as I could remember, I felt something inside me. A long-forgotten sensation. It was just a glimmer, a beginning. But I could swear that it was a sense of peace.” 

“Exactly. What if just one more person had a phone—say, your wife, for example.” “That would be better, but certainly nowhere near as valuable as if everyone I knew had one.” “Precisely,” Vikram said. “The more people in your network who have a phone, the more valuable the connection is. In telecommunication technology, there’s a law for that. It’s called Metcalfe’s Law. It says that the effect of the network grows in proportion to the square of the number of connected users.” 

in a group.” I thought about this. “So. When I’m alone, I’m like a single cell phone. I’m not that useful.” “Yes!” Vikram said. “And as you surround yourself with more people, your ability to make things happen is multiplied.” “Hmm. Is this true of any group?” 

“In essence,” another man said, “you get a piece of the monthly membership in exchange for increasing customer retention.” 

“retrieved from a corner of the room: To generate possible solutions for Ethan’s business problem “Okay, Vikram said, “Ten minutes, groups of six.” There was a grinding of chairs and tables and the group quickly broke into three smaller groups. Vikram and I stood aside, as the groups immediately dove into animated conversation. “What are they doing?” I asked Vikram. “They’re generating ideas,” he said. “Brainstorming.” “Don’t they need me to be involved?” “You will be,” he said. “But not yet. You’re too close to the problem. For now, you have to let the network work.” There was that phrase again. After ten minutes, Vikram stopped the groups. “Okay,” he said. “What have you got?” 

“Apartment buildings, condominiums. I was thinking maybe your system could be used to reward people for paying rent on time, reporting maintenance issues promptly, things like that. Those things do have a penalty for not doing them—either in the form of late fees, or inconveniences, or repair costs—but people still struggle to take action. If I could reward my tenants for the right behavior, that might be helpful for everyone.” I had never even considered switching industries. We were so locked into our idea that it wasn’t even on our radar. It would mean a lot of effort, but—could it work? “Thanks, Davis,” I said. “I never thought of that. We already have the partners in place. I guess it could be done.” Davis nodded and sat down.” 

“THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT The right group of people compounds your efforts. The right group doesn’t just add to your efforts—it multiplies them. Multiplication happens through creativity, clarity, and connectivity. The best groups don’t make decisions for you. They give you the raw ideas for more options, the clarity to choose the best course, and the connections to help execute faster and better. The wrong group confounds. The right group compounds.” 

“That doesn’t mean that they’re bad people,” he continued. “All it means is that you have to manage their presence in your life. This Tribe isn’t about isolating yourself from the world, or from people who don’t see things your way. It’s about learning how those around you affect you, and using that knowledge to everyone’s advantage.” 

“In diving,” he said, “the buddy system is the one thing, more than anything else, that keeps you alive. It’s more than friendship. When we’re under the water, we’re responsible for each other. “If you’re too far away from me,” he continued, “and I need this,” he grabbed the spare octopus regulator, “it’s no good to me if you’ve wandered off. I need to trust that you have my back.” “Got it,” I said.” 

“And the same applies to me. We’re buddies. That’s a sacred bond in scuba. We’re accountable. If I need you, I have to know you’ll show up.” I couldn’t tell if that was a jab at my morning lateness, but there was no time to dwell on it. Terry taught me the ins and outs of what he called ‘buddy breathing.’ It was the process we’d use if something went wrong with our equipment. We practiced it on the deck, went over a few basic hand commands, and then moments later, we were in the water.” 

“Still, I spent long moments mesmerized by the life around me. The fish, the coral—it was as if I’d entered another world, a parallel universe where groups of strange creatures interacted in new ways. After our conversation on the surface, I couldn’t help but see the marine life through a new lens. I marveled at how a thousand silver fish could somehow move in perfect unison. It’s the Influence Effect, I thought. They’re all responding to those around them. I gazed around in wonder. The power of groups is everywhere, I thought. Once you see it, it’s everywhere.” 

“That was amazing,” I said, tugging off my mask. Terry nodded, his face as serious as ever. “Good work down there, Ethan. Excellent first dive. I could tell you hadn’t forgotten your buddy.” “When a guy your size says I need to be accountable,” I joked, “I’m going to pay attention.” Terry cocked his head as if he was considering something. “Accountability isn’t just about scuba diving,” he said. “It’s the main tool that we have as a Tribe to make things happen. One of the problems with being a leader, as most entrepreneurs and professionals are, is that there are fewer people holding you accountable each day. Sure, you have customers and investors. But they’re not telling you what time to get up in the morning. They’re not telling you which things to do when. And they’re definitely not,” he looked directly at me, “telling you to be on time.” 

“But there’s still a catch. For all the power of the Multiplier Effect, what a group can’t do for you is take action. They can support, and advise, and even pitch in once in a while. But they can’t do the work that needs to be done. Only you can do that.” 

“I was stunned. Terry spoke matter-of-factly, as if he was reading something as ordinary as a shopping list. But what was coming from his mouth was anything but ordinary. In a few short minutes, he told the entire room the most intimate details of his life. First, there was financial data—his income and his net worth, how much he gave to charity, and how much passive income he had. Then, there was physical data on his body fat, muscle mass, and exercise levels. Even some blood work. And he even had numbers for his personal life—how he rated his happiness and his relationship with his wife.” 

“Halfway through Terry’s recitation, I realized my mouth was hanging open. This is crazy, I thought. For every number, Terry also revealed how much that number had changed over the previous year. After five minutes, I felt like I knew more about Terry than I knew about my best friends. It’s more than that, I thought. You know more about him than you know about yourself. And that was just the start. When he finished his list of personal metrics, Terry began to talk about his plans for the coming year—plans for his business, for his family, for himself. I was particularly intrigued when he spoke of his health. “So far this year,” Terry said, “I have four marathons booked—one each quarter. That’s an increase of two from last year, and I feel good about that.” A hand went up in the crowd.”

hoots and hollers. “I know you’ve made great strides in many areas,” Davis continued, “but I noticed that your life satisfaction has stayed the same, year on year. I’d like to ask you: what are you doing to change that?” I saw Terry’s jaw tighten. He took a breath, then visibly relaxed. After a pause, he said, “As you all know, I took Ethan diving today. He was my buddy, and he handled himself well.” I looked up at the unexpected mention of my name. “But he also taught me something.” Now I was truly surprised. What could I have taught him? I felt the heads at the table swivel my way. The room was silent. “Ethan said something after our dive,” Terry said. “He said he was glad I’d outrun the ‘old Terry’. The unhealthy one.” I’d completely forgotten I’d even said it. “That really hit me. I realized that…well, I hadn’t actually outrun him. I was healthier, yes. I’d lost the weight. I feel good. But,” Terry faltered, his voice cracking with emotion, “I’m still… I’m still running away from the old me.” 

“What I’d like,” he continued, “is for you to hold me accountable to doing something fun—not related to work or exercise. Just something enjoyable—at least once a month.” “No problem,” Bruce said. “I’ll check in… say, the first Tuesday of each month?” “Perfect,” Terry said. “Thank you.” 

“Change is hard at first. But once you take action, it gets a little easier all the time. Eventually, Terry won’t need the group to help him make time for some simple pleasures in his life. He’ll be accountable to himself. The changes will be internalized.” 

“Rather than take the initiative, I instead watched as another three tribe members stood up and delivered their one- sheet. Each time, I was first taken aback by the complete transparency of their presentation, and then blown away by the support of the tribe. With just a few questions and a handful of jotted notes, it seemed that they could transform a difficult challenge or a vague goal into a plan for action, backed by accountability.” 

“Davis was easy to pick from the group milling about the breakfast buffet. Where Terry was a looming giant with a serious disposition, Davis was his opposite in almost every way—a short, bespectacled, lovable nerd, he popped from group to group at breakfast, calling everyone ‘pal’ or ‘buddy’ or ‘brother’ and laughing endlessly at his own jokes. He was, I soon realized, impossible to dislike. He simply made everyone feel welcome. Like they belonged. He approached me with arms open wide. “My software-making, habit-rewarding buddy,” he said with a smile. “I guess that’s me,” I said. “You ready for today?” I held up my beach towel. “Good,” he said. “One thing first. You were going to connect with me about the possibility of using your software in real estate.” 

“From where I sat behind him, I could barely see the road ahead. The roar of engines rang in my ears. A wall of green jungle flashed by me at what seemed to be increasingly insane speeds. Are these guys crazy? Why didn’t I get my own bike? I felt out of control. Corners arrived out of nowhere, and I had to grab Davis to keep from being tossed off the bike. Every rock or bump in the road seemed to lift me six inches off the seat without warning. The whole experience was terrifying. Until… it wasn’t. Just as I had decided I’d be better off flinging myself from the bike into the jungle, I heard Davis’s words in my head: Trust me.” 

“Davis flipped over another card: the ace of diamonds. “For you, the one-sheet tells you where you are, but also where you’re going. Just like watching a player’s batting average from season to season, or watching a poker hand build to a royal flush, the one-sheet lets you see the direction you’re headed. And that’s really important. The tiny things you do every day might seem small, but they stack up, and over time they chart the course of your life.” 

“With the exception of Davis and I, everyone was gone. In front of me I could see a large, natural hole in the black rock shelf, perhaps three feet across. I leaned forward and peered into the hole. Darkness. Had they all climbed down here? I looked for ropes or some kind of ladder or even handholds, but there was nothing. And that’s when I realized they hadn’t climbed. They’d jumped. I turned back to Davis. “No way,” I said. “You’re next, buddy,” he said. “You want me to jump in that hole? What’s at the bottom?” Davis said nothing. I took a step closer, as close as I dared, and took another look. It was absolutely dark. I turned back to Davis. He held up his wrist. “You’ve got thirty seconds,” he said. “Thirty seconds until what?” I said. Now I was feeling more than nervous. I was scared.” 

“It was beautiful. The water was so clear it was like air. I felt my mouth open in wonder. I leaned back, my legs rising in the salt water until I lay floating on my back. I hung there, suspended in the crystal water. It was if I was floating in space, the cosmos spinning around me. In that moment, I forgot my troubles at work. I forgot the loss of my father. I forgot my uncertainty.” 

“I felt like I belonged. The drone of the engines faded away, and I watched as the bikes seemed to turn as one, leaning in unison, a single organism winding its way to a shared destination.” 

“I’m sure you know by now that the people around you matter more than you think,” Davis said. “They change you.” “Right. They influence you. And multiply your efforts.” I mentally ticked off the lessons in my mind. “And they hold you accountable.” “Precisely. But those around you aren’t just a lens to help you navigate the world more effectively, they’re also a mirror. They reflect you. They allow you to see yourself more clearly. And the closer the bond you have with those around you, the more accurate the reflection becomes.” 

“And now? Now, I realized, I was feeling something new. I was feeling like…. like myself. My true self. Through happy hour, and dinner, and early evening, I mingled easily. I felt happier, more relaxed than I had in weeks. No, months.” 

“As the moon began to rise that night, I felt a new sensation. The comfort remained, but something else began to tug at me. It took a few minutes for me to realize what it was: unfinished business. I made the rounds, said my goodnights, and headed back to my room. As I walked the torch-lit path, I felt my steps quicken. I walked into my hut and went straight to my bedside table. The one-sheet form Simon had left for me sat folded where I’d left it. I carried it to the small desk at the window. I sat, smoothed it out, and as the moon lit the beach and sparkled on the water, I began to write. * * * An hour later, I sat back. I was tired but pleased. The sheet had taken some work, but that wasn’t the hard part. The hard part—building the trust—was behind me. I felt comfortable. No, I thought. More than comfortable. I realized I was excited.” 

“THE AUTHENTICITY EFFECT You find your true self among those you trust. The people around you are a mirror that helps you see yourself more clearly. Trust is the key ingredient to find and align with your authentic self. The closer you get to your authentic self, the easier life becomes and the faster you achieve your goals.” 

“I looked down at the card again. “Last night felt—well, different, somehow. I felt like I fit in. Like I belonged.” 

“Oh yeah. And others—especially oxytocin. That’s been called the trust molecule. It helps mothers give birth and nurse babies, but we all have it, and it’s released during exciting times, and in social settings like meals. Even a hug releases oxytocin and increases trust.” 

“It made sense. Intense experiences did seem to bond people. And there was no question that I felt different after my adventure at the grotto.” 

“You’re going to have to let go and see where this takes you, I thought.” 

“I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but it was clear that the others were listening to him intently. He had an aura about him—a zen-like calm mixed with a natural leadership ability. He seemed quiet and contemplative, but somehow durable, like some strange combination of monk and cowboy.” 

“millionaires with no idea why, I’d have said they were crazy. Now I was wondering if I was the crazy one. My life back home was starting to seem less and less sensible all the time. Why did I surround myself with the people I did? Why did my social and professional circle change so rarely? This whole week had challenged me tremendously. Why had it taken my father’s death to shake me out of my life enough to get some perspective? I wasn’t sure I had any answers. All I knew was that my life back in the ‘real’ world seemed so… unexamined. I was just doing what everyone else was doing. I was spending all my time with the same people, doing the same things, believing the same things—without ever wondering why. When I contrasted that with my experience here, it seemed almost ridiculous. The real world. The thought troubled me a little. Not just for the challenges I faced with my business—they were daunting, but I was beginning to at least see there was hope—but how would I settle back into my world? What would life be like when I was no longer hanging around with the mysterious Tribe of Millionaires?” 

“You need to understand something,” Bruce said. “We don’t come together like this because we’re so amazing.” He stopped walking and looked at me. “We’re amazing because we come together.” “I guess that’s the whole point,” I said. “Being with the right people makes everything better.” 

“Given a big enough why, mate,” the Aussie said, “and you can accomplish anything.” 

“To distract myself, I mulled over what Bruce had said—that with enough purpose, you could accomplish anything. Could it be true? It seemed like a tall order. But considering what I faced at home, a tall order was exactly what I needed.” 

“I suppose. But it does make me question my motives.” “Mate, we all have a financial motive. Most of us spend the vast majority of our lives dealing with money—earning it, worrying about it, saving it, investing it. It’s a big part of life. To deny it is simply foolish. The trick,” he said, “is to understand that wealth isn’t a purpose.” “It just seems that we spend so much time focused on it. Like it’s the biggest purpose of all.” “That’s the trap right there,” Bruce said. “We’re all focused on the how of money. How do I earn it? How do I earn more? How do I invest it? How, how, how, how. What we should be focused on is the why of money.” I thought this over. “But seems like that it is why we all go to work. If we didn’t make money, why would we do it?” Bruce smiled. “That, mate, is exactly the question you need to answer. When you have that answer, you’ll have found a purpose.” 

“The tribe had set up camp on this plateau; how they’d done it, I had no idea, but after my experience that day, I was beginning to see that how something was done was far less important than the reason why. Clearly, this ritual was important to the tribe. 

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We sat around the fire, cross-legged. My blistered feet still ached, and I could tell my face was badly sunburned. Still, I felt strangely satisfied, almost peaceful.” 

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It’s easy to lose sight of your purpose or to have it hijacked by things like money, or power, or beauty. Those things don’t endure, yet they have a way of leading us away from purpose.” 

“And the tribe?” “The tribe brings you back,” he said, poking the embers of the fire. “The right people reveal your richest source of power. They keep you on purpose when you can’t do it yourself.” 

“The Fifth Effect Summary THE PURPOSE EFFECT The right people reveal your richest source of power. Wealth is only a tool—it’s a means, not an end. A powerful purpose can help you overcome the greatest obstacles. Surrounding yourself with the right people keeps you in touch with your why.” 

“Very funny,” I said. But he did have a point. How did carrying more make climbing the mountain easier? “I know it was the Purpose Effect that made the difference,” I said. “I’m just not sure I understand how.” “One of the great secrets of life,” he said, “is that we are all capable of far more than we imagine. Your father was fascinated by this idea—it became his lifelong quest to find out how to tap into that vast store of potential.” “Where did he get the idea?” For me, this was yet another unknown aspect of his life.” 

“Exactly. Money is like that—it’s another multiplier. But what it multiplies is up to you. You can use wealth to gain power or to consume more and more. You can use it to keep score, or to boost your ego.” “Or,” he stood, and tossed the rock from the cliff edge. I watched it sail out, and then drop from sight. “You can use wealth as a tool to enable you to fill a higher purpose.” 

“The one-sheet is a scorecard. But at the end of life, there’s only one score that’s going to matter. You might call it the ultimate one-sheet. You only get to fill it out once, and all the math happens in an instant—that instant when your life flashes before your eyes. It’s that moment when you face the end of your life, and you look back and wonder, “Why was I here? What did it all mean?” 

“THE CONNECTION EFFECT Your life will be measured by the quality of your relationships” 

“I should have let him connect,” I said, fighting back tears. “We’re all here to learn lessons,” Mason said. “We don’t always get to choose the timing. But that doesn’t take make them mean any less.” We sat like that, in silence, me gripping the box, watching the sun finally clear the ocean and begin to rise into the sky. “So now what?” I asked. Mason placed a hand on the box in my lap. “Your father wanted this to be his final resting place,” he said. He ran his fingers over the letters on the box, for the briefest of moments. Just a whisper of callous on wood. And then he stood and walked away.” 

“The breeze began to swell, rising up the sides of the mountain. A small puff of ash lifted from the cloth, and floated, dreamlike, off the summit and into the air where it seemed to vanish. The breeze grew, and more ash lifted, carried away on the currents of wind and time. As I watched, a gust caught the last of the ash, carrying it away from me, northward.” 

“I took one last look at the spreading rays of the sun, then I tucked the box under my arm and headed back in the direction of my tribe. As I picked my way back down the footpath, I realized I’d never felt more connected to my father. It was as if some weight, some nagging doubt, carried for years, had finally been lifted. And I realized something else. It was time to go home.” 

“The trip down the mountain was difficult, but not impossible. Walking downhill was harder than I thought, but I was fueled by a new purpose: home. Business was calling, yes. But more important, so were the other people in my life.” 

“Since the moment I’d left the summit, I’d been consumed with the idea of heading home—home to Jasmine, home to our family and friends. The message of the Connection Effect had struck me deeply; I wanted to be with the most important people in my life. Still, I knew that list of important people had grown this week. The intensity and novelty of the experiences I’d shared with the tribe had bonded me to them deeply; I was taking something with me, but I couldn’t help feeling I was leaving something behind.” 

“The most important thing in life is to live for something more than just your own life.” – William James 

“Let me reframe this for you,” he said. “Every time you share. Every time you speak the truth. Every time you deliver your one-sheet, you’re doing more than talking about yourself. You’re doing more than asking for help. You’re giving a gift to someone else.” “I don’t understand,” I said. “When you share, authentically,” he said, “you’re reminding people that we all have goals. We all dream. But we all struggle, too. We all hurt. We all need help.” The bartender placed two more beers in front of us. “In that simple act of sharing,” Mason said, “you do the most important thing of all. You remind us that we are all, in the end, human.” 

“I’d learned so much about my father this week. I felt like I understood him. I’d even discovered, to my surprise, that I felt proud of him—of what he’d built. Of his legacy.” 

“The Sixth Effect Summary THE CONNECTION EFFECT Your life will be measured by the quality of your relationships A life dedicated to connection is a life free from regret. You are here to live in service to others. Connection is the greatest purpose of all.” 

“Part of it was my one-sheet. The simple act of capturing my goals and tracking my progress was remarkable effective. But what had really made the difference was the local Tribe of Millionaires group that I’d joined. I hadn’t met them in person yet, but already they were supporting me with daily encouragement. It was remarkable how the combination of accountability and friendship seemed to make all the difference. I was getting more done than ever, and still finding time to exercise and spend time with friends and family.”

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